Best humor blog for everyday life
Posts tagged tv
10 Ways to Win an Oscar
1. Produce a movie that takes place in an insane asylum with s Meryl Streep, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nicholson and Nicole Kidman as the inmate who is allergic to keeping her clothes on.
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2. Play a homosexual politician who has undergone a sex change, was abused by his crack addicted mother yet still manages to get elected for president even though he is black and half Jewish. And yes if your name is Jamie Fox that helps too.-
3. Commit suicide or better still killed in a freak airplane accident. Hollywood loves a sad story. Of course you may have trouble More >
The Filthy Rich Network
Coming to a cable TV service near you (If you happen to live in Bel Air or Beverly Hills) The F.I.R.N. Network Shows premiering this fall:
Extreme Makeover – housekeeper edition – watch and wonder as your dreary housekeeper Emma is transformed into the Maid of your dreams
Modest Family. A fat rich elderly retired rock star marries a South American model with an attitude and her overweight son and tries to hide the fact that he’s loaded. The fact that they live in a 24 room mansion doesn’t spoil the plot.
Entertaining Tonight – great ideas for intimate dinners with less than eighty More >
20 things you can learn from TV
- Travel is educational; it teaches you how to get rid of money in a hurry.Travel is educational; it teaches you how to get rid of money in a hurry.
- The best free gifts are given away on Oprah.
- Women in haunted houses always walk around in their underwear.
- Women under threat of a crazy psychopath always walk around in their underwear.
- No women seen on TV ever buy their underwear at Walmart.
- There is no such thing as an ugly or fat female lawyer.
- All police chiefs are Afro American.
- Chefs always wear designer clothes that never stain.
- It is against the law for chefs to drink anything More >
TV Shows That Never Made It
Every person I know has a great idea for a TV show. Or at least they think it’s great. The networks are inundated with formats for new sitcoms dramas and reality shows that are even worse the content they actually broadcast. Here are a few examples.
The Sing Sing Singalong - Wink wink say no more.
The Very Naked Chef - Jamie Oliver’s cousin Sunburnt Allover hosts an outdoor cooking show hosted by the Aberdare Naturist Club
Supermodel Cooking - each model receives a starting kitty of 200 calories and must prepare 3 meals.
Don’t get caught with your pants down - 10 contestants attempt to tackle More >
Glee the Movie – the Trip to Paris
You’ve seen the Tv shows, listened to the CD’s, and already have tickets to the coast to coast concert and the Broadway musical. Ah but what about the movie.
Will -the shoe – Shuester, still not sure about his feelings for Emma -mama what big eyes you’ve got – Pillsbury, takes up Sue Silvester’s offer of taking the complete glee troupe for a trip to Paris where he is seduced by Sue’s half sister Tweety, played by Scarlett Johansson, who sells baguette flavoured ice-cream on the top of the Eiffel towel. Meanwhile Sue, with the help of old army buddy Stuey and Hewey More >
A work of Art: this time with real artists
In the search for the ultimate reality show, with a seasoning of culture, A Work of Art may open a new frontier for the fusion between art and reality. If Sarah Jessica Parker and friends have gone this far, why not go all the way. Here is a preview of A Work of Art Celebrity Special.
Sarah Jessica Parker: Welcome to the A Work of Art Celebrity Special. Thanks to an enormous budget, latest DNA breakthroughs and a weirdo producer who wears boxers with pictures of George Washington, we were able to approach major artists, living and dead to appear in our project. More >
Glee – The Parodies
Glee, as everyone on this planet who has a TV knows, is this years greatest success. There are already 5 Glee albums, talk of a Glee movie and of course millions of really bad Glee parodies on YouTube. Here are a few chosen ones. I really had to dip deep to find them among all the trash.
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The Robin Hood Channel
Coming This Fall on the all new Robin Hood Channel
Will the Merry: Follow the hysterical adventures of Diva Will Scarlet and his Merry Men and witness the antics they get up to in the forest (PG13). Forest live has never been so divine!
Robin Made Marianne (R-rated). From the people who brought you Forest Hump.
Friar Tuck’s Hell’s Kitchen Watch the fun as three overweight, drunk monks fight it out for the position of Sou Chef in the monastery.
The Prince and the Paupers The new reality show where the Prince gets to chose a mate from the fairest ladies of the land, who have been gathered More >
If TV Was Reality: What it would be like if we lived like they do
The alarm woke me at 6:32. The start of another uneventful day at the office. Or so I thought. Today was to prove different, my life had suddenly been taken over by a T.V. screenplay writer. It all started with the email I received the previous night. I thought it was a joke, how wrong I was. “Your life is boring and really quite a disgrace. Because of this we have decided to assign your a screenplay writer named Todd.” I showered and shaved in 30 seconds flat. On my bed a fresh ironed shirt and pants were neatly laid out. More >
Yada Yada Pastures, The Seinfeld Spin-off: Seinfeld 40 years on
Seinfeld, the sitcom to end all sitcoms, ran from July 5, 1989 – May 14, 1998 screening 180 episodes starring Jerry, Kramer George and Elaine.who missed the pilot. For years there has been a huge public outcry for a reunion, a movie and a return of the series. A sort of reunion was recently orchestrated by Larry David, but the audience worldwide wants more. What has been hidden from the public and media alike is the fact that there are several spin-offs that never made it to prime timer. Here, for the first time anywhere, I am pleased to reveal some More >
The Promo Show: Isn’t it time to replace the promos with shows?
Every time I finally find something interesting to watch on the TV, and it’s finally getting interesting, the network, in all its wisdom, cut to a commercial break. I have nothing against commercials, well actually I do but I’ll leave that for another blog, it’s the promos that push my blood pressure through the roof. How many times can I see the same game-show host promise that he has a surprise for me that will throw me off my chair, or see the tears of a reality show contestant with an I.Q. of about four and multicolored nails exclaim: “He More >
