Best humor blog for everyday life
Posts tagged religion
On the First Day of Christmas
On the First day of Christmas my true love came told me, she wanted to be a divorcee.
On the Second day of Christmas my true love send to me, two guys with a summons and a Hallmark card from my future divorcee.
On the Third day of Christmas my true love send to me, three hunks who took the Lexus, two guys with a summons and a Hallmark card from my future divorcee.
On the Fourth day of Christmas my true love send to me, four moving trucks. Three hunks for the jeep, two summon guys and yet another stinking card from my divorcee.
On the Fifth day of More >
The Death of Redemption
I met the messiah on an overcast morn While we both stood in line for the dole. Frostbite nights in his carton on Montegue St. Had visibly taken their toll. Still, the smile that he gave me promised some hope As we shared a cold throwaway “Remember son, that the game must be won before you reach the end of day”. —– I didn’t see him the following week Though I thought that I once heard his voice. I started work as a fast food temp I didn’t really have any choice. A glimpse of a smile on a hamburger More >
Burka Band
The Burka Band was an all-female indie rock band from Kabul, Afghanistan, now disbanded. They performed anonymously, all of the members wearing burqas in an apparent protest against the Taliban’s rules regarding Islamic dress. They released a single, “Burka Blue” and a self-titled album in 2002. They have been called the “Spice Girls of Afghanistan” and played Western rock instruments – electric guitar, drum kit while wearing traditional head-to-toe burkas. Their hit single features them singing about burkas, in English: “…My mother wears blue jeans now, and I am so surprised, the things are changing faster, I don’t know if it’s right…”
© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved.
If you More > 
105 Year Old Virgin
Mary Grace Spencer was a born in 1902 and was the most regular churchgoer of the Virgin Hill Baptist Church in Pikeville Tennessee. Not a Sunday ceremony passed by without Mary Grace’s presence. Even when she took a vacation at Tiptonville she always managed to return home for the Sunday prayers. Mary Grace never seemed to be interested n the opposite sex, though she had her far share of suitors banging on her front porch door. Rumours spread over the years of her attraction to members of her own sex were entirely without foundation. In celebration of her 105th birthday More >
The Eve of Destruction
First there was Noah out building an ark He took all the animals right out of the park. The gamekeeper thought otherwise Called the NYPD Who sent Noah for observation And threw away the key.
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He was followed by a Jesus A man with a mission. He promised them salvation But forgot his position. He has houses in every corner Yet he doesn’t have a home. Go find him in a street corner carton Where he sleeps each night alone.
—– All the Buddhas that I know Are still frozen in a smile. There are fat ones, there are thin ones But More >
Yom Kippur Tweets of Atonement: the fast way to deal with a fast
Who needs a prayer book when you have Twitter?
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Dear GD, I have been bad but promise to be be good so thanks for forgiving me (retweeted from last year)
Dear GD of the Juice. I am not actually Jewish but your one day fast sure beats the Ramadan. Can we switch?
My friend told me it's OK to eat on Yom Kippur as long as it's done in the bathroom. What are your feelings about that?
If I pray next to Lady Gaga and accidentally eat part of her dress, does that mean I have broken the fast?
Whose idea was it to have More >
The Taite Guide to Religion
Disclaimer: My grandfather taught me that the best way to collect enemies is to make fun of their religious practices. So as I intend here to diss you all off by taking the Mickey of every religion around I will carefully watch my behind from here on.
Ever since Moses gave the first stand-up performance on Mt. Sinai religion has given us plenty of light moments. To be fair I make fun of them all.
Catholics
Four Catholic ladies meat every Wednesday afternoon to play bridge. None of them are very good or particularly like the game, but each one is afraid not to attend in case More >
The God Twitter: Memorable Tweets from the Almighty
Location: here, there and everywhere
Web: www.thoushallnotkill.com
Followers: tens of millions – I’m the almighty not one not Demi’s live-in playmate!
Following: Oprah – much more productive than Maria
Noah_273 – OK so he’s got a few bolts loose and his pigtail is really not in, but what the hell – he makes me smile. Maybe I’ll give him a flood of his own. Then he’ll have something to tweet about.
Obama : Only joking
Latest tweets:
Quite a boring morning maybe I should conjure up a tornado over Manhattan
@ellen_degeneres listen lady you’re not funny.
@keithrichards I apologise 4 mistaking u 4 the devil. You have 2 admit there’s a resemblance
Caused a More >
How to Pick A Religion
Bob Dylan was born Jewish but dabbled in Christianity and Buddhism. Sammy Davis Junior was born a Christian but turned to Judaism after a near fatal accident. Many of you people out there are confused as to which religion is right for them. Here is a flowchart to help you. And may God be with you.
More flowcharts and other funny stuff can be found on holytaco.com
