Best humor blog for everyday life
Posts tagged my verse
Life’s Questions
SSSSS
Sometimes I write movies Somtimes I write songs Sometimes I feel every waking moment Is absolutely wrong.
- Sometimes I’m an empty canvas With a bucketload of paint Often I’m my worse nightmare Pretending to be a saint.
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Maybe I’m a misplaced child Who won’t believe he’s lost Or a shopaholic for a long lost life Who can’t afford the cost.
- Maybe I don’t exist at all Just a part in someone’s book. Maybe you won’t see me at all If you take a second look.
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- Perhaps I am a philosopher’s cat Or a goldfish less a bowl.
Maybe I’m an exotic dancer More >
Paint it Black – the SOPA PIPA version
If they want a blackout then they are going to have to deal with the masses. SOPA and PIPA aren’t the answers.
Mick Jagger knew what he was talking about
I see an open door and want to paint it black. No freedom anymore lets turn the whole web black I see some P2P up by the Pirates’s Bay. I want to sink their ships and make them go away.
* I see a whole new world, no colors except black. When all the legislation’s through there will be no way back. I see a a generation losing all its sense of pride. Just like the More >
The Future of Sales
They all lined up at the entrance,
Five hundred and a score.
The queue that started hours before,
Now circled round the score.
It was the first Saturday of January,
And some were looking rather pale.
But none would dream of leaving now,
Ten minutes before the sale.
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The showroom was completely filled
With all the shapes and sizes.
For those outside in the freezing cold,
They were offering great prizes.
Women, girls and hopeful grans
All waited at the gate.
At the chime of nine
They all left the line
And ran in to buy a mate.
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The Hubby sale comes but once a year.
It is the best time to make a catch.
After courting went ill
And More >
A Christmas Wish
A boy sat under the Christmas tree Waiting for a sign. Madonna was singing on MTV
‘Twas a quarter after nine. If miracles were still for sale It was time to get one now As Faith No More Stood by the door The boy wished for a cow. — Others may have wished for toys On this snowy December night. But for one poor lad, whose heart was sad His demands were ever so slight. A farmer’s son, he had no time for fun His thoughts were practically clear. No cow meant no milk, And that surely would lead To a sure death before the new year.
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The snow tumbled down Through each valley and town Without heat it was bitterly More >
Warning Bell
He was on his fifth martini, Aiming for a strike. Driving not an option He should have brought a bike. He sat alone in the corner He slept alone in his bed "I'm waiting for tomorrow morn" Was the only thing he said. Just another of God's children Created by mistake Should have been pulled from the conveyer belt Before it was too late. If only they'd let someone know That he was really not so well. But when they rang the warning bell There was no-one left to tell. She wore her smile a million times For the millions More >
Going up, Going down
I climbed up the dragon
To the sixty third floor.
My breath tasted of fire
As I walked through the door.
They said God lived on seventy
But I wasn’t so sure.
I was far far too early
For conclusions to draw.
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The view was quite stunning
I could see really far.
Past all illness and poverty
Past the Fuehrer and Czar
Past the cooler than cool street kid
Who dismantled my car
And his cross eyed, part time girl friend
Who gave at the bar.
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I was told to take a number
And sit by the wall.
They would call me when my time came
If my time came at all.
I wondered if I held my breath
I could help postpone More >
Stormy Weather
There’s a storm exploding in my coffee And I can’t seem to see past my nose. Things are never what they seem Even when you add the cream And the ravens that I spy are only crows. I wake up in the night to the disturbance of the light That is gleaming from the right side of my head. I am floating on a cloud Above a more than rowdy crowd Someone tell me if it’s something that I said.
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I may have a little too much saki Or maybe it was the seventh jug of beer The music’s far to loud I’m sure that Mary’s far from proud So please disconnect the speakers from More >
The Whole Truth
Waiting for the truth
The line of people, seemingly endless ‘Twas two kilometers or more. It passed convenience stores and subway stops And boutique coffee shops galore. Every minute dozens joined the end though the TV had forecast rain, Because they all knew that what was offered now Would not be seen again.
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They moved along in silence There was nothing to be said Could easily have been a funeral procession For someone not yet dead. But all those there shared a purpose Both the elders and the youth If they managed to make it to the front of the line They would finally learn the truth.
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The truth, till now, hid in fancy dress Under the desk More >
Death of an Angel
For Anat – you will be deeply missed
Sometimes you take for granted, that what was still will be. Sometimes you hide behind the mist and refuse to let yourself see. Most times you don’t understand and want to shout out loud But when you face reality you’re sinking in a cloud.
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Some people suffer sorrow and then they suffer pain. Some fight and fight and don’t give up, though there’s nothing left to gain. Somewhere there is meaning, but I really don’t know where. I wish someone could answer me how such a case is fair.
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I can’t seem to get what I want
With apologies to the Stones
I went down to my local super In the basement of the department store I admit I was feeling kind of hungry But wasn’t prepared for what they had in store
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No, I can’t seem to get what I want I can’t seem to get what I want I can’t seem to get what I want and though I try each time ,in the end I find, I just can’t succeed.
—– I picked up a food tray from the counter. It had rice along with something that looked fried The taste reminded me of something familiar The More >
Last Rites
Last wrongs, last rights
Last makeups, last fights.
Last calls for just one more
Last chance to slam the door.
Last supper, last piece of cake
Last reoccuring nightmare when you’re wide awake.
Last Train to Clarksville , last Twist and Shout
Last call for boarding the last plane out.
Last dance of the evening, last time to move on.
Last Harry Potter then the wiz kid is gone.
Last to cross the finish line at the N.Y. mid spring run.
Last to see the bank clerk is being accosted with a gun.
First to get the last word in More >
Running Out of Time
I’m running out of time I’m running out of money. I’m running out of clever jokes That no-one sees as funny. I’m overtired of answers like “I’m sure everything will be fine”. I?m running out of faces to hide From the face that’s really mine. I’m running out of poems That disguise themselves as song I’m running out of excuses For everything that’s wrong. I’m running out of running On a short long distance run. I wish I knew where I’ll find myself When I’ve finished with this run.
© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please More >
Everyday People
I met a girl with a Japanese tattoo
And asked her to tell me what it said.
She gave me a look like I’d fallen from Mars
But I didn’t let it go to my head.
So I went to the park
For my mid-day meal
Where a guy asked if I could spare him some change.
He wore Steve Madden shades
And black Replay boots
So I guessed that he must be deranged.
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Such are the people who make up my life.
This is what God’s been creating.
A touch of Tabasco perhaps topped with whipped cream
Was it really worth all the waiting?.
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A touch before dawn
In a dress badly torn
Old Miss Eva More >
Bloggerella
Once upon a time
In the land of nursery rhyme
Lived a lass by the name of Bloggerella.
Between the dishes that she washed
And the tomatoes that she squashed
She wrote all about her imaginary fella.
On her pad she spilled a tale
Of a prince who could not fail.
He defeated every dragon with his force.
His green eyes shone in the eve.
Had muscles you can’t believe
And of course he came equipped with one white horse.
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Such was the life of Bloggerella
Spending day after day down in her cellar.
Her writing smudged a bit with tears
Told of her passions and her fears.
But there was no-one else around who might come More >
Bleeding Angel
Bleeding Angel - Picture by Jake Hercy
I came across a bleeding angel. She was half way across the street. Her hair was green but her tongue was red. There were blisters on her feet. She asked me for some guidance For she had clearly gone astray. All I could give her were pennies from heaven To see her on her way.
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A month or two passed between us. Or maybe t was more. I was looking for coffee to shelter the storm She was standing by the door. I considered asking her to join me, But she wasn’t dressed the part. More >
Rainman
When the rain came down The people were in shock.
To the center of town They sped just like a flock. The clouds burst open And the crowd all cheered For one single, solemn moment They forgot all their fears. And the pitter and the patter Was all that mattered On the block.
When the rain came down A new hope filled the air Across a nation from town to town They all came out to stare. The electric light carnival Caused such a great splash. Up up in the heavens Came a musical flash. While above he stood silent, The man More >
No Word from Loch Ness: Goodbye Nellie?
During the past year there has been only one known sighting of the Loch Ness Monster. Experts tend to think that Nellie has left us. Elton John has once again adapted his lyrics.
Goodbye Nellie dear Though we never really knew you at all You kept the whole world guessing And the Loch Ness dwellers rich. An occasional appearance Helped to keep the legend alive You let the Scotsmen thrive Now the trade is in the ditch.
And you filled the minds of a world that dined On a dino in the mist. Never sure what they were seeing From their More >
Yet Another Thursday Monday
Sometimes in the morning I wake up and there’s no dawn and I find nobody warned me Of my fate. I get up with no alarm And try so hard to remain calm But in my heart I fear of harm If I am late.
Yet another Thursday Monday When I dream of the return of Sunday And I pray to God that someday, one day All this will change. But for now I’m really rushed for Tuesday. That’s my life, in a very much abused way Counting minutes till I’m touching Friday And all my life will rearrange.More >
Jesus Unemployed: A Sign of the Times
I went down to the station
To see how the other half live. A man sat there, at the bottom of the stairs. He said “please Sir, it’s time to give”.
He promised me his story If I kindly palmed his hand. At his present abode he was Prince of the Paupers, But claimed he once was leader of the band.
“My full name, Sir, is Jesus, But you may call me Joe. Before the fall, I worked on the Wall Where I watched my fortune grow.”
I payed my dues to the king of the Jews And he payed me back in kind. The cold may have killed his More >
Unknown Group rewrites Sgt Pepper and Conquers British Charts: “Android Pfeffer’s Boneless Heart Club Band” – It may shock you.
The first single released from upcoming album Android Pfeffer’s Boneless Hearts Club Band, entitled Lucy Sold Her Sky for Diamonds, has been topping the British charts for over six weeks now and is keeping Simon Cowell up late at night in an attempt to find a way to launch a counter attack and protect his interests. Taite Gallery reporters have managed to cut through the media fog surrounding the new group and promised album and have actually met with group leader and singer Android Pfeffer, a seven foot, tinny, introverted rocker. Though Android revealed little regarding the background of the group and More >
