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Posts tagged movies
The Taite Gallery Titanic Tribute: The Cash Flow Must Go On
April 12th marks the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.
Since it’s founding, the Taite Gallery has given the Titanic ample coverage in it’s posts.
Initially I shared with you my thoughts regarding hated coworkers in
5 Work Colleagues I would gladly send off on the maiden voyage of Titanic II
If that wasn’t enough I attacked the subject again in
If all Movies had Happy Endings: Titanic
and then I couldn’t leave it alone and revisited the event as Titanic: The Journey to Mars in
Movie Sequels We Don’t Want to See
In the coming days every blog, paper, T.V. show and talk show host More >
10 Ways to Win an Oscar
1. Produce a movie that takes place in an insane asylum with s Meryl Streep, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nicholson and Nicole Kidman as the inmate who is allergic to keeping her clothes on.
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2. Play a homosexual politician who has undergone a sex change, was abused by his crack addicted mother yet still manages to get elected for president even though he is black and half Jewish. And yes if your name is Jamie Fox that helps too.-
3. Commit suicide or better still killed in a freak airplane accident. Hollywood loves a sad story. Of course you may have trouble More >
If we all lived in a James Bond movie
I woke up early for a change, before ten. The two models at my side were still fast asleep. My in suite breakfast was already set out, caviar flavored Cornflakes, toasted brioche and a newly poured Latte, shaken not stirred. It only took one bullet to dispense of the two assassins who had yet to learn their before noon manners. Tut Tut! The maid came in to see if I needed any more towels, I declined but she had sex with me anyway. News travels fast. Getting dressed I remembered to take care not to accidentally release the poison dagger hidden the More >
Journey to the Center of the Earth 2012
The ad on Facebook read:
“Team members needed for a journey to the center of the earth. No past experience necessary. If you look and sing like Pat Boone please refrain from applying.”
The expedition was supposed to be led by Sir Aussie Smith, the famed archaeologist, adventurer, prize fighter and international spy, and it was he who held the auditions in the auditorium of the British Museum three days before Christmas of 2011. Smith, unfortunately had to be replaced at the last minute, due to an unlucky liaison with an Egyptian rattle snake disguised as the Russian Ambassador to Jamaica. Two days More >
21 funniest comedy movies of all time (part 3)
A Fish Called Wanda - Ken tries to kill the old lady
and again… - - Beetlejuice - The Banana Boat Song, one of the best comedy song parodies in movie history. - Sleeper - Woody Allen at his best visiting the Jewish robot tailors - … and a giant banana skin - The Silencers – When you can’t beat them make fun of them. Dean Martin stars as secret agent Matt Helm with a chute straight from bed into a jacuzzi. He gives a new meaning to the word undercover. - Dr Strangelove – Peter Sellers meets More >
21 funniest comedy movies of all time (part 2)
monty python and the holy grail – coconuts instead of horses, the silliest King Arthur in movie history and a cast of thousands who didn’t actually appear in the film.
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The Life of Brian – nothing was sacred for the Python team. Almost banned, this film is a classic.
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Young Frankenstein – Mel Brooks almost reinvented the comedy movie with this black and white feature.
Blazing Saddles – The opening of this movie is on of the funniest of all time.
When Harry Met Sally – I’ll have what she’s having. Probably the most famous fake orgasm of all time
M.A.S.H. – Suicide is More >
21 funniest comedy movies of all time (part 1)
Every has there own choice of classic comedy movies. The list below and in the posts to follow is my personal preference of British and American humor. Feel free to add your own lists. If I get enough feedback I’ll add them in a follow up post.
Warning: What you are about to experience may very well get you rolling on the floor. If you must watch at work please do so at your own risk.
1. Duck Soup – One of several masterpieces by the Marx Brothers. Who can keep a straight face in front of their mirror skit.
I’m More >
Things that didn’t happen: Woody Allen makes an action movie!
It was only a matter of time. According to The National Inquisition, Woody Allen’s next movie is set to be a full fledged action adventure set in the steaming Jungles of New Jersey. Following Allen through the many unexplored areas of South Jersey parts will be Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, re-enacting his classic role of Colan, Bruce Willis, Silvester Stallone and the late Telly Savalas. Using technology Allen first introduced in Zelig, the dead and almost dead actors chosen to fill the parts will have new life pumped into them. The female role is being held for Lynsay Lohan who must first fulfil prior commitments to the California police department. More >
Things That Never Happened: Paris Hilton gets the Oscar
Wearing a dress (if you can call it that) that was guaranteed to attract all the attention, Paris Hilton walked confidently down the red carpet last night accompanied by an unknown male companion rumoured to go by the name of Ozzie. This time, however, Paris was not there just to add colour to the event. Her leading role in the R rated remake of the classic movie,The Way of All Flesh, earned her a nomination for The Best Actress in a Leading Role category. In spite of fierce competition from the other nominees: Meryl Streep Kathy Bates Helen Mirren and Kate Winslet (who More >
Inception Deception: Make Memento with tons of money and here’s what you get
Christopher Nolan hit the big time in 2000 with the shattering Memento. The film dealt with memories and was a masterpiece. Since then Nolan has hit the big time. His budgets are enormous. Inception is about dreams or is basically a dream. It’s how Momento would probably look if it had a $1 billion budget and was produced as a sequel to Matrix III. He sure likes the idea of walking up walls. Luckily for us Momento had no such budget. The premise for Inception is an attempt at multi level dream inception. Has Nolan stopped on fresh frontiers here. More >
Movie Sequels We Don’t Want to See
Titanic – The Journey to Mars. A spaceship named the Titan is launched from Cape Kennedy. Somewhere along the way it collides with a milky way spaceberg and starts to sink nto a big black hole. Only Captain Leo and the haunting music of an unknown Canadian castaway can save the day (and the nights too). Movie to be produced, directed and financed by the Celane Dion Foundation for the Advancement of Kitch.
Mama Mia meets Godzilla. Can a poor misunderstood dinosaur with bad breath and a fiery temper enchant Meryl Streep and persuade her to carry its sperm?
The Lone Ranger rides Tonto – More >
Glee the Movie – the Trip to Paris
You’ve seen the Tv shows, listened to the CD’s, and already have tickets to the coast to coast concert and the Broadway musical. Ah but what about the movie.
Will -the shoe – Shuester, still not sure about his feelings for Emma -mama what big eyes you’ve got – Pillsbury, takes up Sue Silvester’s offer of taking the complete glee troupe for a trip to Paris where he is seduced by Sue’s half sister Tweety, played by Scarlett Johansson, who sells baguette flavoured ice-cream on the top of the Eiffel towel. Meanwhile Sue, with the help of old army buddy Stuey and Hewey More >
If all Movies Had Happy Endings: Titanic
Over the decades since the invention of the motion picture, the industry has been divided between two approaches; the movie with a message and the movie with a happy ending. The European Film Industry (they don’t know from movies!) tended to opt for the former whereas Hollywood generally took the approach more popular at the box office. Often novels and true historical events were adapted to help bring in the much needed dollars. In this way tragic stories such as Pocahontas were retold minus their sad endings. There are a few Hollywood blockbusters that didn’t abide by the rule but More >
The Son of Dirty Harry
Clint Eastwood has turned eighty. Somethings are inconceivable. My local cable movie station is having an Eastwood marathon to honor his birthday and last night I caught Dirty Harry. Now Dirty Harry is a film I must have seen twenty times but haven’t caught it in the last decade. The film came out on 1971, almost forty years ago, so I thought I’d give it a few moments of time. Just the opening credits and the first few scenes. Just for old times sake. Or at least I thought. The movie was so good that I watched it through, oblivious of More >
Rocky Horror Turns 35 and It’s Still Rocking
It was the winter of ’74. I was bumming around the West End of London and wanted to see a show. I’d already taken in Jesus Christ Superstar. Most of the good shows were sold out or only had premium tickets which were way over my budget. A ticket office had a couple of cheap tickets for a fringe show in Chelsea. The guy selling them knew nothing about the show. Not able to get tickets for anything else, I payed the guy and went of to Chelsea to find the theater where the show was playing. The place looked More >
The Bodycounters: Someone Has to do It!
From The Department Of It’s A Strange Web Isn’t It?, here is yet another example of what bored people find to do with their spare time. The people involved with the Bodycounters do just that. They sit through a movie and count every body!!
“Beginning in 2006, The Bodycounters took on a very special mission. Their goal: to count every body. Their humble beginnings - bored, depressed, and full of Miller Lite – have now led to a higher purpose. They have chronicled their findings painstakingly under extreme conditions. They have risked life and limb to keep their tallies, and now they bring them here More >
Curiouser and Curiouser: Will the Real Alice Please Stand Up
Curiouser and Curiouser
Many critics have claimed that Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland isn’t loyal to the original book published in 1865 by Lewis Carol. The film displays the story of Alice in the Under Ground and claims that it was Alice who called it Wonderland in an earlier visit. Few of the critics seem to have noticed that Burton is winking at them and his audience throughout. The original Alice was supposedly Alice Liddell, one of three schoolgirl sisters, daughters of Henry George Liddell, the Vice-Chancellor of Oxford University, who were lucky enough to listen to Reverend Charles Lutwidge Dodgson’s More >
Avatar: A good movie, but is it a great one?
First, let me say that Avatar is a really good movie and yes go and see it and in 3D. The 3D is beautiful without being thrown in your face, the scenery is often almost as great as a Yes album cover and the major characters are as attractive and likable as any found in recent Disney cartoon features. The big question is whether it is a great movie. Coming out of the movie I found that question isn’t one easy to answer.
A great movie is one that would influence the whole movie industry for years, perhaps decades, to come. More >
Interesting Thoughts: Or how bored can you get to even come up with these
All over the internet, lonely webbers, who obviously have nothing better to do, are over eager to accept any challenge thrown at them. Take “What would a movie be like if you watched it backwards?” I’m sure that in Elizabethan times no one came up to good old Will and asked him to rewrite Hamlet starting with the death of the hero. Still times have changed.
Jaws: watched backwards it’s a movie about a shark who keeps throwing up people until someone comes up with the idea of opening a beach.
Friends: If you watch the series from last season to first More >
The 2000 Year Old Man, 50 Years On
The 2000 Year Old Man sketches originated in a party when Carl Reiner started asking his friend Mel Brooks a few ad-lib questions that resulted in some hilarious answers and kept the guests laughing for over two hours. According to an interview the two gave to Ari Karpel of the New York Times they came up with the idea in a lull in the writers room of “Your Show of Shows” for which they both wrote.According to Reiner:
I always knew if I threw a question to Mel he could come up with something… I remember the first question I asked him. More >
