Posts tagged computers
A while ago I opened up my morning newspaper (actually it was the flipboard on my IPhone but lets not get picky!) and read the amazing news that Instagram had been bought by Facebook for 1 BILLION dollars. I reread that number several times but it didn’t seem to be a typo. If Facebook was willing to part with 1 billion dollars for a photo app that I had ignored up to now, obviously I was missing something.
Sure enough among the trillion pictures of cute cats and dogs and cheap promotions of would be models there is some really fine More >
www.expertsexchange.com – This site was supposedly for exchanging advice between experts and not what you people with dirty minds were thinking. - http://www.menwholooklikekennyrogers.com - I wonder if there’s a site out there for men who dress like Lady Gaga? - www.therapistfinder.com - O.K. so the guys and girls behind this site to help you find a therapist learned their lesson. More >
There are two people in this world:
Those that have Iphones or Ipads and those that pretend that the alternative is just as groovy (yes they are the ones who still use the word groovy)
Of those who have Iphones there are those who use it as a phone (I’m pretty sure that around the globe there are at least two such people, maybe in Bulgaria).
All the rest belong to the category who have downloaded 25 billion apps and counting. That’s a lot of apps. That’s a lot of anything period.
Of those people, there are those who download only business apps (yes More >
O.K. so I may be a dying species, actually I am a dying species but lets not get into that here. So many things have disappeared from the world or been reinvented during the last couple of years to make the gems of my youth seem to be historic artifacts. With the global youth movement to computer games (that sounds like a political party doesn’t it?) I suppose it was only natural that the Monopoly shoehorn would find itself animated in the mobile version of the game. I used to love counting the paper money and hoarding the red hotels More >
There was a time that I remembered all the phone numbers of my friends and family. Given a moment’s thought I could even remember the number of my doctor’s surgery and my plumber. Today I know none of these numbers, in fact I barely know my own mobile number, and I only know that because I have to keep giving it out. Have we become brain dead. If we move on in this fashion, will people start wearing invisible computerized name chips that your mind will automatically pick up and save you the necessity of remembering the name of that More >
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SHE 1. Your guy has to quickly sign off because his mother has come home early and he hasn’t finished his homework. 2. Your guy goes by the name of Thor the Invincible 3. You have yet to have a meaningful conversation wherein the guy opposite you is fully clothed (or even partially clothed) 4. Your guy repeatedly calls you his Mama. 5. Your guy has to quickly sign off as they are reassigning his cell.
HE 1. Your girl is simultaneously chatting with you and the drummer from Guns and Roses. 2. Your girl’s name is Lola. 3. She can’t More >
1. Start a startup that pushes a technological concept that nobody truly understands. 2. Create a colorful Power Point presentation fun of buzzwords, technical jargon and embedded video clips. 3. Call a press conference 4. Tell a leading newspaper reporter that the rumors that Google are about to buy you out are totally unfounded. 5. Sell the startup to Apple or Microsoft for half a billion dollars and options. 6. Buy a villa facing the sea in the Caribbean after retiring at the ripe old age of twenty two.
© 2010 Steve Taite. All More >
- Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiakitna – O.K. this one was expected. I was writing about the education one gets from the internet and sort of hoped someone would search for this hill n New Zealand. This sort of strengthens the More >
1. You live in a run down 40 storey building in a one bed room appartment with a cat named Frederic and he’s been nagging you to write one.
2. Your cat Frederic has a blog with 2,000 followers.
3. It’s cheaper than having a life.
4. Lets face it, what else do you have to do with your evenings.
5. You watched Julia and Julia and got inspired, so you promised your followers – all three More >
I’m the sort of guy who has all these great ideas but am unable to do anything with them, which is the reason my apartment is not next to Bill Gates mansion (or Hugh Hefner’s for that matter). Some clever kids came up with Facebook , Twitter and Youtube and now take their baths in French champagne on their private 767 jet. Well I have this great idea which I will reveal in a minute, and if someone out there decides to adopt it and become the next billionaire then fine, just sent me my million and we will both More >
Location: here, there and everywhere
Followers: tens of millions – I’m the almighty not one not Demi’s live-in playmate!
Following: Oprah – much more productive than Maria
Noah_273 – OK so he’s got a few bolts loose and his pigtail is really not in, but what the hell – he makes me smile. Maybe I’ll give him a flood of his own. Then he’ll have something to tweet about.
Obama : Only joking
Quite a boring morning maybe I should conjure up a tornado over Manhattan
@ellen_degeneres listen lady you’re not funny.
@keithrichards I apologise 4 mistaking u 4 the devil. You have 2 admit there’s a resemblance
Caused a More >
Now that Steve Jobs has displayed the Ipad to the world, it remains to be seen which new devices he will conquer the world with in the years to come. Here, from our personal inside mole at a top secret Apple research lab, is a guide to a few of the new products Apple is secretly working on.
1. The Ipotty. Press for number one or number two as applicable
2. The Imobile. Tomorrows breakthrough in mobile comfort
3. The Ilatte. A perfect companion to your Ipad, available at your local Ibucks coffee shop.
4. The sure to be popular Iquarium complete with underwater music More >
I woke up in the morning with a jerk. Something was wrong. I could feel it in my bones. It was the wife, kicking me from below the blanket. I must have been snoring again. I had again had the reoccurring nightmare where a twenty foot blue skinned girl with a tail had taken possession of my blog and left me sixty odd, empty Guinness cans in payment,which she assured me were more valuable than diamonds where she came from. I ran downstairs to the kitchen to get my morning dose of caffeine. I even managed to avoid tripping over More >
Larry was standing in my cubicle when I arrived at work on that fatal Monday morning and I knew it meant trouble. He had that slick, devious smile across his face that meant head for the hills, danger zone ahead.“I’m leaving on Thursday for that conference in Hong Kong”“What conference in Hong Kong”“Doesn’t matter, the point is, you have to cover for me.”“No problem Larry, it’s not as if anything important is scheduled for the next seven days. The big turnover isn’t due for a month.”“Yes, that’s true. You will have to take care of the presentation though.”My face More >
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiakitnatahu is a real place. It is the name of an existing hill in New Zealand, or so the Internet claims.This comes from the same people who tell me that goldfish have a memory span of three seconds (how anyone measured that I don’t know), and giraffes can’t sing. The Internet is the basis for all our knowledge now. We have no choice but to believe in it. It is the new God. How else would I discover that some lions mate over fifty times a day or that Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg’s Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce More >
The Robot Olympics will be held in China in 2010 according to the BBC News. According to the BBC
“The international event will be held in the city of Harbin and will see robots take part in 16 different events.Robots will be able to compete in familiar Olympic sports such as athletics as well as those more suited to machines such as cleaning. Entry to the competition will be restricted to robots resembling humans. They must possess two arms and legs. Wheels are banned. The organisers of the games expect from more than 100 universities from around the world to More >