The History of Conversation

As is common knowledge, conversation first started way back in the era of the cavemen when Bog, a medium height, bearded, long haired, overweight man with a pot belly, accidentally stood on the blistered toe of Gog, a medium height, bearded, long haired, skinny man with an attitude.

“Yoh,” exclaimed Gog, “You just stood on my bad toe?”

“Yoh, your mother-in-law,” replied Bog, “And what you gonna do about it?”

Needless to say this conversation was very short as Gog, knowing his place,  ran out of the cave, swearing all the way and was eaten alive by an extinct dinosaur.

Conversation more or less carried on this way for several centuries, and would probably have remained this basic if not for a revolutionary Egyptian invention – the hairdresser. During the excavation of the Dahshur Pyramid, world renown Indian archeologist, Hindu Anna Jones, found hieroglyphics that immortalized the following conversation:

1st Egyptian Woman (with left raised in the gesture of a snake): So I told him, I did, I’m not that kind of girl”

2nd Egyptian Woman (with right arm raised in the gesture of a snake): “No way”.

1st Egyptian Woman: “Way!”

2st Egyptian Woman: “No way!”

This conversation continued on until the author ran out of wall.

The art of conversation reached its peak during the Renaissance era due to the introduction of a new English word - Jeopardy. The following conversation is reputed to the Bard himself:

The Sire Trebek: “For 1 shilling the answer is   She sees and says nothing”

Will S: “Who is our good lady?”

Sire Trebek:  ”Can you be a bit more specific?”
Will S: “Who is Liz?”

Sire Trebek: “Yes, I am told I can accept that? Please pick a category.”

Will S: “Great works of art written by me for 2 shillings”

Sire Trebek:  ”Your answer is  To be or not to be that is the question.”

Will S: ” I’m supposed to give you the question, your supposed to give me the answer. That’s the whole idea. Can’t you get anything right?”

Sire Trebek: ” No that is the answer.”

Will S: “How can a question be an answer? Who wrote this?”

Sire Trebek: “No, Who had nothing to do with this. Nobody wrote this weeks questions.”

Will S: “What?

Site Trebek: “No not What, he was fired weeks ago. Hey where are you going?”

Will S: “I have this great idea for a new comedy piece.”

-

Since then, several centuries have come and gone and  conversation has been refined and refined until it reached the art form  recognized on every street corner today:

1st teenager: “Yoh man, how’s it hanging?”

2nd teenager:  ”Yoh  ya mama”

1st teenager: “You dissing my mama?”

2nd teenager: “Who’s yo mama?”

© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you  enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If  not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.