Rational Equations

The audience of freshman gathered in the auditorium for the opening lecture of the  ”Introduction to Higher Mathematics” course was full of expectation. Most were sure they had heard it all before, having been drilled from early elementary school in the art of number munching. There were a lot of giggles in the crowd, especially after one student shared some background about the visiting lecturer from Poland who had spent several years working in the local zoo.

When Professor Graham Khent stood up to face his students for the first time, however, there was a moment of silence and then uncontrollable laughter.

“You may be wondering”, Professor Khent started, “why I chose to open my first lecture in mathematics at this prestigious college while wearing a donkey’s head.  You may think, Ah this nutty professor, he still thinks he’s working at a zoo.” The room was quiet.

“Let me assure you fellow mathematicians there is reason behind my madness. When I was a young polish high school teach, I was sent to a rural village where the students could barely read and write. My task was to teach them what equations are. In front of me were sixteen children of various ages between 7 and 17. Toward the back of what I dare to call a classroom, was a middle-aged farmer and his donkey. He too wanted to delve into the magical world of equations. I asked the class if anyone had heard of the expression Rational Equations. No hands were raised I thought for a good two minutes before asking the man in the back to approach the blackboard together with his donkey.

“What do humans do?” I asked the class.

“Eat, sleep, work” were the answers. One small girl added “have fun” and everyone laughed for a minute.

“Looking at the bored animal beside me I asked: “And what do donkeys do?”

Eat and sleep were the answers I got.

The Professor removed his donkey mask, went over to the big whiteboard and began writing:

Human = eat + sleep + work + have fun

Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore

Human = donkey + work + have fun.

Therefore

Human – have fun = donkey + work

Conclusion: A human who has no fun is a donkey that works.

The student faculty clapped.

“Wait my friends, you may think you now know all there is about rational equations but you are wrong. please humor me a few moments more.”

Now the professor was talking and writing equations at the speed of light, his audience barely keeping up with him.

Man = eat + sleep + earn money

Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore man – earn money = donkey

Conclusion: A man who doesn’t earn money = donkey.

“Wait there’s more. Don’t let me forget you lady folk!”

Woman = eat + sleep + spend

Donkey = eat + spend

Woman – spend = donkey

Conclusion: A woman who doesn’t spend is a donkey.

“So where is all this taking us.

From all the above we can now conclude that

A man who doesn’t earn money = a women who doesn’t spend.

So Man earns money so as not to let the women become a donkey.

A Women spends so as not to let her man become a donkey.

Now finally we are getting somewhere.”

Man + Women = Donkey + earn money + donkey + spend money

“which gives us:”

Man + Woman = 2 donkeys that live happily together.

“So, ladies and gentleman, the next time one of your friends tells you that  their maths lecturer spent many years working at the zoo you will understand why.”

(With thanks to Z.)

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