Best humor blog for everyday life
Archive for August, 2011
New Directions (no not Glee)
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Tokyo is blessed with interesting streets and boasts over 200,000 restaurants, the only problem is that the streets rarely have names and the buildings almost never have numbers. Giving directions can therefore be a real problem.
HE: (on the phone) “Hi there, fancy meeting me for dinner tonight?”
SHE: “What did you have in mind?”
HE: “There’s this cute Japanese restaurant in Roppongi called Himogaya (restaurant name has been changed to protect the innocent and overworked). It’s really quite reasonable and they serve great Tampura.”
SHE: “Sounds great. Can you give me directions?”
HE: “No problem. You take the metro to Roppongi station and More >
stay up / stay on
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An American doctor received received the following promotion gimmick in the post.
The postmark showed it had come from a Japanese company. The doctor decide to send them a mail.
Dear sirs,
I received your gift in the post. I have wired it up but it doesn’t seem to work.
Please advise
Yours Sincerely
Mark.
Within a couple of days he received the following reply:
Dear Sincerely-san,
pull down to turn on.
If light stay on more than 4 hours pliz call erectricion.
best regards
Viagra-san
© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on More >
If America invaded Britain
The Red White and Yanky
It came as a huge surprise. American troupes attacked on four fronts Air, Land Sea and on center pages of the Sun. It was, however, the intrusion of American troupes to a live episode of The East Enders that forced the outcome. The Brits gave in without a fight.
Here is how Britain will look after the American Invasion.
1. British tea would be outlawed.
2. Rubbers will no longer be sold to schoolchildren at Woolworths and Office Depot.
3. All British satirical and comedy programs will come with American subtitles and a five minute explanatory wrap-up at the end.
4. Every More >
What not to do in a posh restaurant
1. Order your steak tartar very well done.
2. Peruse the wine list for more than ten minutes then order a vintage 1969 coke.
3. Peruse the wine list for more than ten minutes while smoking vintage 1969 coke.
4. Try and recreate the scene from When Harry met Sally in 3D.
5. Stick your chopsticks up your nose and pretend you are Adam Sandler.
6. Stick your chopsticks up your nose even if you are Adam Sandler.
7. You are Adam Sandler and you stick the chopsticks proudly up your nose but sign the bill Jim Carrey.
8. You have passed the age of 21 so I guess it’s More >
Rational Equations
The audience of freshman gathered in the auditorium for the opening lecture of the ”Introduction to Higher Mathematics” course was full of expectation. Most were sure they had heard it all before, having been drilled from early elementary school in the art of number munching. There were a lot of giggles in the crowd, especially after one student shared some background about the visiting lecturer from Poland who had spent several years working in the local zoo.
When Professor Graham Khent stood up to face his students for the first time, however, there was a moment of silence and then uncontrollable More >
Going up, Going down
I climbed up the dragon
To the sixty third floor.
My breath tasted of fire
As I walked through the door.
They said God lived on seventy
But I wasn’t so sure.
I was far far too early
For conclusions to draw.
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The view was quite stunning
I could see really far.
Past all illness and poverty
Past the Fuehrer and Czar
Past the cooler than cool street kid
Who dismantled my car
And his cross eyed, part time girl friend
Who gave at the bar.
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I was told to take a number
And sit by the wall.
They would call me when my time came
If my time came at all.
I wondered if I held my breath
I could help postpone More >
Internet Philosophy
© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.
Tokyo Art Fair 2011
The 2011 Tokyo Art Fair was postponed from the spring due to the earthquake aftermath. The venue was used to shelter evacuees. On the weekend of 29-31 July, the fair was finally held. More than 300 galleries were represented in a most colorful expression of art. Here are is a small taste.
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© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.More >
