Best humor blog for everyday life
50 things to do for free
1. Investigate the efficiency of public lavatories. Once you had to spend a penny but today in many countries it is free.
2. Wash your hands at a public lavatory. Come on, remember what your mother taught you.
3. Watch the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace and just as the ceremony starts shout “On Guard” through a megaphone.
4. Spend a free week in London, accommodation compliments of the Metropolitan Police, includes bread and water,, what more could you ask for.
5. Collect cigarette butts at a Spanish Tapas bar and try to sell them to the Barcelona Museum of Contemporary Art.
6. Take underwater belly-dance lessons from a Hippy on Chelbacheb island who is still waiting for the end of the Vietnam war.
7. Organize tortoise races on Aldabra Island.
8. Find the torn pair of Levis that you hid in the attic and sell them to the Iceland Living Art Museum.
9. Clean your apartment
10. Clean my apartment!
11. Join a sit-in at the Woodstock Local Library.
12. Teach yourself to juggle eggs. Don’t use uncooked eggs silly, that could become really costly not to say messy.
13. Write a will detailing how you will distribute the millions of dollars you won on the New York Lottery.
14. Write a list of all the things you will do with the money left from your win on the New York Lottery after having recovered from the hangover that hit you following your two week stint in Vegas accompanied my Angolina Jolie. (feel free to change her to the partner of your choice).
15. Organize a working tour past the local attractions of your home town (i.e. seventeen McDonalds, three Dennys, and several Dairy Queens.)
16. Borrow your sister’s prom dress and take a trip on the wild side.
17. Borrow your brother’s torn jeans and leather jacket and take a trip on the wild side.
18. Get invited to participate on the upcoming reality Britains Got No Talent and display your lack of juggling, singing and dancing talents while doing your hysterical impersonation of Road Runner (Beep! Beep!)).
19. Send love letters to men on Death Row.
20. Sand outside a Star Trek convention and sell premium tickets to the first manned voyage to mars.
21. Using the year old lemon lime bottle you found in your fridge and the vintage bottle of Tabasco that you forgot to close after your disastrous Mexican Fajita evening last November, mix the two together and sell as Super Charged Lemon Suicide at your local mall.
22. Get a job as Queen Elizabeth’s beer taster.
23. Get a job tasking Queen Elizabeth’s Corgi’s food.
24. Go an a bread and water diet and then cut out the bread.
25. Get adopted by Hugh Hefner (if you are blond and blonde this might be easier than you think).
26. Get adopted by Angelina Jolie. (If you look asian this might be easier than you think).
27. Get adopted by Keith Richards. (definitely a no-boner).
28. Volunteer to fight in Viet Nam. That should ensure at lease two weeks paid vacation surrounded by Men in White.
29. Play upside down Monopoly. Not as easy as you might think. Try working out how much income tax to pay while standing on your head!
30. Cut your hair using the scissors your three year old brought home for her first day at pre-school.
31. Take a photo of yourself with the new haircut and sell it to the National Inquirer.
32. See how man of your friends realize that the photo on page four is of you and not yet another Alien from a different galaxy who intends on evading earth.
33. Take a child to the playground.
34. Return the child without its parents noticing.
35. Oops too late! Run the marathon round Lower East Side followed by two screaming parents, three snarling dogs an off-duty NYPD officer and Mabel, somebody’s lost grandmother who thinks she’s on an African safari and hunting elephants.
36. Take a sauna in the Sahara desert.
37. Adopt a turtle.
38. Teach your turtle Karate. You know what comes next Raphael!
39. Disguise yourself as a parking meter
40. Adopt a third world country
41. Adopt a third wold language
42. Adopt a third world bank.
43. End world hunger (only applicable if you are a Miss Universe contestant)
44. Do a rain dance in Central Park.
45. Do a rain dance in Central Park in the middle of a rain storm.
46. Adopt a local hospital.
47. Dress up in your best suit and go to a wedding at the Ritz. I’ll leave it to you if you want to be a guest of the bride or the groom.
48. Eat grass.
49. Smoke grass
50. Drink grass
© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.
