Archive for April, 2011
How to wash your buttocks – only in Japan!
There are some pictures that really need no clarification. This picture was taken in the loo of a prestigious Tokyo department store.
For those who never knew how!
© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.
What the Queen said, and what she really meant
“Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements.”
English interpretation: “My sister’s a lush, my daughter in law bollimic, my son insists on making it out with a cow, my husband’s so senile that he tries to put it in the vacuum cleaner and my favorite Corgi has eloped to America.”
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“It’s all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you’re properly trained.” English interpretation: “If I told him once I told him a million times, if he had got her properly trained we would never have got into this mess More >
I feel the earth move…
This surely wasn’t what Carole King had in mind!
I feel the earth move under my feet I see the buildings shaking all over town I feel my bed slowly trembling To the moving ground. —
Oh maybe when I next wake up I will no longer feel a thing. It feels so funny as I’m standing here Watching mother nature win. —
I feel the earth move under my feet It’s like a ride at Disney that I sure didn’t take. It happens half way through my best dream In seconds I’m awake.
How daring my friends at home all say When they really think I must be More >
The Phone Revolution
There was a time that I remembered all the phone numbers of my friends and family. Given a moment’s thought I could even remember the number of my doctor’s surgery and my plumber. Today I know none of these numbers, in fact I barely know my own mobile number, and I only know that because I have to keep giving it out. Have we become brain dead. If we move on in this fashion, will people start wearing invisible computerized name chips that your mind will automatically pick up and save you the necessity of remembering the name of that More >
The Whole Truth
Waiting for the truth
The line of people, seemingly endless ‘Twas two kilometers or more. It passed convenience stores and subway stops And boutique coffee shops galore. Every minute dozens joined the end though the TV had forecast rain, Because they all knew that what was offered now Would not be seen again.
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They moved along in silence There was nothing to be said Could easily have been a funeral procession For someone not yet dead. But all those there shared a purpose Both the elders and the youth If they managed to make it to the front of the line They would finally learn the truth.
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The truth, till now, hid in fancy dress Under the desk More >
Sakura in the shadow of the Tsunami
The Japanese spend the whole year waiting for the Hanami. For those in the dark, the Hamani is the ancient practice of picnicking under the Sakura or Cherry blossom. Sitting under the beautiful bloom of the cherry tree is supposed to bring great luck. The blossoming of the cherry trees lasts only a few days a year but the event is talked about for months. More photos are probably taken of the Sakura than any other event worldwide. Among the thousands of Japanese participants, it would be hard to find someone who isn’t carrying a camera.
This year the Sakura and More >
Thought for today #1
© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.
There’s a Hole in My….
The Japanese version
There's a hole in my ....
© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.
Tokyo, back to normal – kind of
In a country that has simultaneously gone though a major scale earthquake, the mother of all tidal waves and a nuclear disaster – how does one go back to normal. The crises seems to be one that will endure for months, which means that some kind of normality in everyday life has to be achieved. This is cherry blossom season and soon the Golden Week will be upon us, times usually reserved for jubilation. As a humorist, things are even more complicated. Will I be forced to perform Hari Kiri for trying to put a smile on the faces of More >
Beauty & the Beast Japanese Style
There has to be a lesson to be learnt when you meekly leave your Tokyo residence and join the Japanese families celebrating the first blossoming of the cherry trees. Even when the future is so uncertain and pregnant mothers fear for the health of their unborn children, families gathered this weekend in Ueno Park, neatly marked their picnicking space and made an attempt to declare business as usual.
Not far from the beautifully path of Cherry trees, the Ueno Zoo proudly displayed their latest acquisition, a pair of pandas. Organized lines, like you can only find More >
The Return to Japan
The great earthquake, tsunami and meltdown crises occurred while I was out of the country and cased me to delay my return for several days. Returning to Tokyo, I found that the city was a different one from the one I lived. There are few traces of the earthquake but the partial blackout that has been adopted by the civilians and municipality as one has changed the whole character of the world’s largest city. Gone are the neon lights that landmarked areas such as Shibuya and Shinjuku. Gone are the happy crowds out who filled the streets to overflowing for a night More >



