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confessions in a bottle
1:The Beginning I was sitting innocently on the beach, minding my own business when a huge wave slung this bottle at me. Luckily it was a plastic coke bottle and not a discarded wine bottle, which could easily have broken my nose. From inside I extracted the following message. My name is unimportant, you can call me Marion, no wait make that Rhiannon. If I get my choice it may as well be something sexy. I li...

An Englishman in Japan

—

(with apologies to Sting)

I don’t drink Saki I drink beer my dear
And I’m not that nice when I get pissed.
So please don’t offer me hot coffee from a can
I’m an Englishman in Japan.

See me shopping down in Shinjuku
Of course they’ve nothing in my size.
I’d like to fit in if I can, but
I’m an Englishman in Japan.

I’m no alien, not a Martian beast called Gaijin,
I’m an Englishman in Japan.
I’m no alien, and I’m not related to Big Ben
Just an Englishman in Japan.

I am aware I stand out in a crowd
And might seem ignorant today
But hell I’m trying and that’s more than I can say for some
Please be patient is all that I can say.

I‘m no alien, not a Martian beast called Gaijin,
I’m an Englishman in Japan..
I’m no alien, and I’m not related to Big Ben
Just an Englishman in Japan.

Strange perceptions may occur, you feeling much like Gulliver
Don’t worry man, you’re not the only one.
Try some Engrish to cheer you up
And drink your coffee in a cup
That’s quite enough for one tall Martian-san.

So now you’re feeling quick the happy one
Even though you can’t find clothes that fit.
Yes you’re becoming quite a fan
Not just an Englishman in Japan.

I’m no alien, not a Martian beast called Gaijin,
I’m an Englishman in Japan.
I’m no alien, and I’m not related to Big Ben
Just an Englishman in Japan.

—

© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved.
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