Best humor blog for everyday life
Archive for February, 2011
Tokyo train system – in a class of it’s own
In general, Tokyo trains are the most orderly in the world. At every station they have clearly marked pairs of lines where you stand while waiting for the next train. When it arrives, the door opens exactly in front of the two lines which part to allow the train passengers to get off the train unobstructed. Then the lines of people get on the train. If you don’t want to take this trai, but the next one, there is a green line especially for this purpose.
To make transport life easier, you can buy a chargeable smart card, called a pasmo More >
Death of an Angel
For Anat – you will be deeply missed
Sometimes you take for granted, that what was still will be. Sometimes you hide behind the mist and refuse to let yourself see. Most times you don’t understand and want to shout out loud But when you face reality you’re sinking in a cloud.
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Some people suffer sorrow and then they suffer pain. Some fight and fight and don’t give up, though there’s nothing left to gain. Somewhere there is meaning, but I really don’t know where. I wish someone could answer me how such a case is fair.
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One school you don’t want to send your daughters to
SSSSS
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Definitely a school I would think twice about sending my daughters toFrom Wikipedia: Worthington Hooker School is a neighborhood school in the East Rock neighborhood of New Haven, Connecticut. It is part of the New Haven public school system. The school is named after former Yale University professor and physician Dr. Worthington Hooker (1806–1867). The school serves students from kindergarten through eighth grade in two separate buildings, an elementary school (K-2) and a middle school (3-8).
© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to More >
What women really want
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Some men think they understand women and what women really want. Here is the proof that us men know nothing.~~~
Janet, Mary and Samantha were sitting together at the downtown Steamboat Willie Sportsbar enjoying their after-work Margeritas when a tall, exceptionally handsome, well built middle-aged guy walks in. The guy, whom we will call Travis, was so stunning that Janet couldn’t keep her eyes off him.
Travis, being the well adjusted, easy go lucky type who pertained to know a thing or two about the opposite sex did what any well adjusted, horny man in his situation would do, he removed his More >
An Englishman in Japan
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(with apologies to Sting)
I don’t drink Saki I drink beer my dear And I’m not that nice when I get pissed. So please don’t offer me hot coffee from a can I’m an Englishman in Japan.
See me shopping down in Shinjuku Of course they’ve nothing in my size. I’d like to fit in if I can, but I’m an Englishman in Japan.
I’m no alien, not a Martian beast called Gaijin, I’m an Englishman in Japan. I’m no alien, and I’m not related to Big Ben Just an Englishman in Japan.
I am aware I stand out in a crowd And might More >
Brackbird – the Japanese sing the Beatles
The Japanese are basically unable to hear the difference between the letter L and the letter R. No matter how they try L and R are the same for them. This can be a bit confusing to first time visitors who take the Metro to Ropponji (as it is listed in all the tourist brochures and signs) only to hear the train announcer tell them that they are now approaching Lopponji. In the land of Karaoke this can result in some interesting moments, to say the least. So my recent visit to a Japanese Beatles club was preceded with quite a bit More >
The 10 least romantic places to spend Valentine’s Day
1. At Hooters
2. At a rerun of The St Valentine's Day Massacre
3. At a surprise family reunion together with the in-laws the laws and sixteen screaming kiddies
4. At a toilet Restaurant
(see The Taite Guide to Toilets)
5. At a McDonald’s drive thru
6. At the National Museum of Funeral History, Houston, TX
7. In the red light district in Amsterdam
8. On a guided tour of the sewers of Paris
9. On the Jerry Springer show
10. At your girlfriend's Aunt Zelda’s fourth wedding after she has successfully buried her first three husbands.
© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a More >
Happy Valentine’s Day for Dogs
Valentine Dog gifts for dogs - found in Japanese mall
© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.
I can’t seem to get what I want
With apologies to the Stones
I went down to my local super In the basement of the department store I admit I was feeling kind of hungry But wasn’t prepared for what they had in store
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No, I can’t seem to get what I want I can’t seem to get what I want I can’t seem to get what I want and though I try each time ,in the end I find, I just can’t succeed.
—– I picked up a food tray from the counter. It had rice along with something that looked fried The taste reminded me of something familiar The More >
Adventures in a Japanese Loo
A foreigner’s first experience with a Japanese toilet could easily be compared with a teenagers first experience with love. You meet this gorgeous girl during the school recess but you have no idea what to do about it. No-one has given you an instructions manual. The same can be said about Japanese washlets – right you really don’t want to call it a toilet any more than you’d call a Jaguar E-Type Roaster a car – they do come with an instruction manual but it’s Japanese.
First things first, before entering the pleasure are, be sure to slip on your toilet slippers.
You More >
The 10 best Japanese ice-cream flavors
They say that ice-cream was invented in Florence and there is even an ice-cream parlor there that lays claim to being the first place to sell it. Statistically American’s are the greatest consumers of the multi flavored multi calorie sweet, but when it comes to the most original flavors no one comes near to the Japanese. It was a hard task choosing which to include in this post but here is my 10 best Japanese ice-cream flavors list.
Wasabi flavored ice-cream - you kind of expected this one
Black Sesame flavored ice-cream
curried carrot flavored ice-cream- yummy!
Potato flavored ice-cream
eggplant flavored ice-cream
My all More >
Only in Japan #2
A seat for small kids in a toilet cubicle so that you can go pleasurably even when accompanied by infants
One way to sell golf clubs
No it's not gold they are selling, it's fruit
A shrine for the well being of pets
Sign found in public park
No smoking outdoors
© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.More >
How to clone everything
More than a decade after their first attempt, a team of Japanese scientists have announced that they will aim to clone a woolly mammoth in the next five years. Led by Akira Iritani, the team plans on taking mammoth DNA extracted from preserved corpses found in Siberia and inserting it into African elephant eggs that have had their DNA removed. If the insertion is successful, the eggs will be placed in an adult elephant and brought to term. Iritani’s group is hoping that this technique will provide the missing ingredient that allows them to succeed. Work to find suitable DNA More >
Not Lost in Translation
Working at a Japanese company where you are the only foreigner can be pretty intimidating. Not only do you look different, act differently and sometimes to behave like an ape in a country that is ruled by etiquette, you can’t even speak the language. So for even the simplest work conversation it is necessary to call an interpreter.
Japan, has a rich history of art and theater and this doesn’t escape the field of simultaneous translation. Forget about all the interpreters you’ve seen in the movies, generally at the United Nations, like everything else in Japan, translation is an art. When More >
