1. Travel is educational; it teaches you how to get rid of money in a hurry.Travel is educational; it teaches you how to get rid of money in a hurry.
  2. The best free gifts are given away on Oprah.
  3. Women in haunted houses always walk around in their underwear.
  4. Women under threat of a crazy psychopath always walk around in their underwear.
  5. No women seen on TV ever buy their underwear at Walmart.
  6. There is no such thing as an ugly or fat female lawyer.
  7. All police chiefs are Afro American.
  8. Chefs always wear designer clothes that never stain.
  9. It is against the law for chefs to drink anything but wine while cooking.
  10. Women wear lipstick to bed and all men wear pyjamas.
  11. TV women have learned the secret of waking up with a perfect hairdo.
  12. Nobody wakes up with bad breath.
  13. Every room in Paris faces the Eiffel Tower
  14. The president never has sex with his secretary.
  15. People have their own booth in the local restaurant which is always available.
  16. The best form of transport is inside a vintage English telephone box.
  17. Ugly and fat people don’t really exist, they are a figment of our imagination.
  18. There is no such thing as an unwashed car.
  19. Cartoon characters never age.
  20. An attractive South American divorcee will fall straight into the arms of an elderly Al Bundy and nobody thinks this weird but Demi and Ashton are the talk of every gossip report.
© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved.
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