The History of Dating
The Caveman Era - the first date He: Uggh She: Uggh yourself He bangs her over head and drags her into the cave. Date over! ================== Romeo and Juliet Romeo [To Juliet] If I profane with my unworthiest hand This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss. JULIET [to her nurse] I swear, I don't...
The Taite Guide to Project Management
Project Management Life as a project manager is comparable to a mountain climber's. The big difference being that when you get to the peak you find there is no safe way down. Whenever I get really down, my wife reminds me that it takes one women nine months to have a baby and no matter how you try it is impossible to perform the same feat in one month by impregnating nine women. It was a beautiful ...
50 Things to do before you hit the bucket
Everyone hits the bucket sometime so why not have some fun on the way. Here are some suggestions. Find Big Foot Stand on Big Foots foot Run the Arctic marathon making sure you the enormous white bear behind you stays there. Spend a night at the Paris Hilton Spend a night with Paris Hilton Find Waldo then donate him the home for Lost Souls Go to the airport and take the first plane flying o...
The Taite Guide to Gift Shops
Museums were first invented in Paris, France by Jean Paul Yurr Hedoff in 1789. Jean was employed by Doctor Joseph-Ignace Guillotin as a cleaner upper or as they called it in those days a nettoyeur de têtes. It was Jean's job to clean up the mess after a Guillotine. The poor man found that after a few weeks he had quite a collection of disembodied heads and blood stained clothing and a growing crowd of visitors who wa...
The Taite Guide to Apple
Now that Steve Jobs has displayed the Ipad to the world, it remains to be seen which new devices he will conquer the world with in the years to come. Here, from our personal inside mole at a top secret Apple research lab, is a guide to a few of the new products Apple is secretly working on. 1. The Ipotty. Press for number one or number two as applicable 2. The Imobile. Tomorrows breakthrough in mobile...
Cruise vacations: 10 things they never told you about
1. The pictures of the young girls in the slim bikinis were taken 30 years ago. You get the updated version. 2. The round the clock, all you can eat buffets aren't half as appealing when you've spent your day throwing up over the port side of the ship. 3. If you want to avail yourself of one of the ten available treadmills you must sign up on the first day and with a bit of luck you'll get your 15 minutes...
Minuet: the future Twitter worth at least $1 billion
I'm the sort of guy who has all these great ideas but am unable to do anything with them, which is the reason my apartment is not next to Bill Gates mansion (or Hugh Hefner's for that matter). Some clever kids came up with Facebook , Twitter and Youtube and now take their baths in French champagne on their private 767 jet. Well I have this great idea which I will reveal in a minute, and if someone out there d...
confessions in a bottle
1:The Beginning I was sitting innocently on the beach, minding my own business when a huge wave slung this bottle at me. Luckily it was a plastic coke bottle and not a discarded wine bottle, which could easily have broken my nose. From inside I extracted the following message. My name is unimportant, you can call me Marion, no wait make that Rhiannon. If I get my choice it may as well be something sexy. I li...
How to Get Rich Without Really Trying
You want to get rich fast. There's only one big problem. Your skint! Your bank balance is in the red, your bank manager refuses to return your calls, your family have disowned you and the national sweepstakes refuses to chose your lucky numbers. All is lost. Not quite my friend. There are still opportunities out there to make money from thin air - literally. Here is a list of some possible options and because I'm...
The Taite Guide to Airports
We arrived at the airport three hours before departure time. My wife wasn't very happy about that fact but our previous holiday was all but ruined by the fact that the plane took off without us. This was the only time I can remember when my flight actually left when they said it would. We were late due to a traffic jam resulting from the collision between a truck full of boxes of adult Pampers and a semi-trailer...
confessions in a bottle
1:The Beginning I was sitting innocently on the beach, minding my own business when a huge wave slung this bottle at me. Luckily it was a plastic coke bottle and not a discarded wine bottle, which could easily have broken my nose. From inside I extracted the following message. My name is unimportant, you can call me Marion, no wait make that Rhiannon. If I get my choice it may as well be something sexy. I li...
What the Queen said, and what she really meant
"Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements." English interpretation: "My sister's a lush, my daughter in law bollimic, my son insists on making it out with a cow, my husband's so senile that he tries to put it in the vacuum cleaner and my favorite Corgi has eloped to America." --- "It's all to do with the training: you c...
The Taite Guide to Mothers-in-Law
Mothers-in-Law Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law I could tell what day it was going to be. It was all written in the sky. I woke up without a headache, the sun was shining. I could detect the chirping of robins from the nearby tree. Then the doorbell rang and the storm began. My mother in law is allergic to dishwashers. Well not really allergic she just doesn't believe that ...
What the Queen said, and what she really meant
"Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements." English interpretation: "My sister's a lush, my daughter in law bollimic, my son insists on making it out with a cow, my husband's so senile that he tries to put it in the vacuum cleaner and my favorite Corgi has eloped to America." --- "It's all to do with the training: you c...
ChatRoulette: what you've been missing
© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.

An Island of Blondes – what’s next?

A Lithuanian company Olialia (pronounced ooh-la-la) is setting up a holiday resort on an island of the Maldives – the resort would be managed only by blondes. The target date is in 2015. Critics say it is a method of selling sex but the company thinks otherwise. Giedre Pukiene, the managing director of Olialia wants to break the myth that blondes are not as intelligent as brunettes – they have degrees and are smart. The blondes would fly the airplanes and they will be everywhere.

Though the concept has been criticized the world over for being sexist and undemocratic, it is sure to be widely copied. We send our roving report Rover to snoop around a bit and here are a few of the other concepts that we might have to face in the coming years.

Twit World – none of the workers on this island have an I.Q. exceeding 50. You

will be flown by easyjet’s master pilot Frank Twitter who will fly you to Idiot Airport situated only 200 yards from the beach, enabling you and your luggage to swim easily to shore. Hotel manager Bonehead Barney will see to your every need (well a couple of them at least). After checking in you can lounge by the pool – don’t try swimming as the haven’t yet worked out how to pump in the water yet. If fitness is your thing join Davey Dumbbell for a workout. The games room is one of the most popular features at the resort especially playing darts. Don’t worry Dr. Duncable is well trained to extract those stray darts from your back and lower hip. And don’t forget the great food court serving egg and chips, baked beans and chips, bacon and chips, bankers and chips and the ever popular chips and chips. Every Wednesday is American night when the chef puts on his red white and blue apron and serves French fries with ketchup. If you prefer chips please tell our receptionist.

© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved.
If you  enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If  not feel free to pass on to your enemies.
Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.