Best humor blog for everyday life
Archive for October, 2010
The Raven Hacker
If Edgar Allen Poe had written The Raven Today it would probably be about a hacker
—
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I surfed, though weak and weary,
Thru many quaint and curious sites, filled with beauty and with gore.
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping on my inbox door.
`’Tis some hacker,’ I muttered, `trying out a back trap door -
Only this, and nothing more.’ – Ah, distinctly I do remember, that it was then but late December,
When first I did become a member
Of the Buzz Computer Discount Store.
I purchased online from that More >
Weird celebs who don’t need Halloween as an excuse
Most people wait a whole year to dress up as a monster or frightening witch and scare their neighbours to death. Many celebs don’t need to wait for Halloween, they celebrate all year round.
Brigitte Bardot - who said ageing was fun?
The man whose nose fell to earth
Cher - what more can I say?
Bin Laden - from "A Nightmare on Wall Street"
Ozzy Osbourne's natural look
Keith Richard - and to believe girls still fall at his feet!
Courtney Love Sober
marilyn Manson - Even Frankenstein hid under the covers
Amy Winehouse on a better day
© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved.
If you enjoyed this More > 
Weird Halloween Costumes
Inflataman
In Labor Ahhhhh
Scary TrollMummy Dearest
Wonder Woman Revisited!
Zombie Obama
Your Worst Nightmare
Ghost Dogs
Visit the Taite Gallery Halloween Giftshop
© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.
The Sexiest Stare in the World
If stares could kill this guy would surely be put behind bars. This video isn’t in English, but who cares. No he’s not available for private lessons as far as I know.
© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.
Stieg Larsson – The Millenium Trilogy
Stieg Larsson wrote an incredible crime trilogy and just before he got anything published, died of a heart attack. He had no karma. According to family sources. Larsson had intended to write ten novels which he called the Millennium series but only managed to complete three. Now there is much talk of a fourth volume that he had completed which would have actually been the fifth in the series. He never got around to writing the fourth one. The opening novel, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, was originally named “Men Who Hate Women” in Swedish. Larsson has been quoted as More >
Running Out of Time
I’m running out of time I’m running out of money. I’m running out of clever jokes That no-one sees as funny. I’m overtired of answers like “I’m sure everything will be fine”. I?m running out of faces to hide From the face that’s really mine. I’m running out of poems That disguise themselves as song I’m running out of excuses For everything that’s wrong. I’m running out of running On a short long distance run. I wish I knew where I’ll find myself When I’ve finished with this run.
© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please More >
105 Year Old Virgin
Mary Grace Spencer was a born in 1902 and was the most regular churchgoer of the Virgin Hill Baptist Church in Pikeville Tennessee. Not a Sunday ceremony passed by without Mary Grace’s presence. Even when she took a vacation at Tiptonville she always managed to return home for the Sunday prayers. Mary Grace never seemed to be interested n the opposite sex, though she had her far share of suitors banging on her front porch door. Rumours spread over the years of her attraction to members of her own sex were entirely without foundation. In celebration of her 105th birthday More >
21 funniest comedy movies of all time (part 3)
A Fish Called Wanda - Ken tries to kill the old lady
and again… - - Beetlejuice - The Banana Boat Song, one of the best comedy song parodies in movie history. - Sleeper - Woody Allen at his best visiting the Jewish robot tailors - … and a giant banana skin - The Silencers – When you can’t beat them make fun of them. Dean Martin stars as secret agent Matt Helm with a chute straight from bed into a jacuzzi. He gives a new meaning to the word undercover. - Dr Strangelove – Peter Sellers meets More >
21 funniest comedy movies of all time (part 2)
monty python and the holy grail – coconuts instead of horses, the silliest King Arthur in movie history and a cast of thousands who didn’t actually appear in the film.
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The Life of Brian – nothing was sacred for the Python team. Almost banned, this film is a classic.
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Young Frankenstein – Mel Brooks almost reinvented the comedy movie with this black and white feature.
Blazing Saddles – The opening of this movie is on of the funniest of all time.
When Harry Met Sally – I’ll have what she’s having. Probably the most famous fake orgasm of all time
M.A.S.H. – Suicide is More >
21 funniest comedy movies of all time (part 1)
Every has there own choice of classic comedy movies. The list below and in the posts to follow is my personal preference of British and American humor. Feel free to add your own lists. If I get enough feedback I’ll add them in a follow up post.
Warning: What you are about to experience may very well get you rolling on the floor. If you must watch at work please do so at your own risk.
1. Duck Soup – One of several masterpieces by the Marx Brothers. Who can keep a straight face in front of their mirror skit.
I’m More >
10 Sure signs that your on-line relationship isn’t going to work
SHE 1. Your guy has to quickly sign off because his mother has come home early and he hasn’t finished his homework. 2. Your guy goes by the name of Thor the Invincible 3. You have yet to have a meaningful conversation wherein the guy opposite you is fully clothed (or even partially clothed) 4. Your guy repeatedly calls you his Mama. 5. Your guy has to quickly sign off as they are reassigning his cell.
HE 1. Your girl is simultaneously chatting with you and the drummer from Guns and Roses. 2. Your girl’s name is Lola. 3. She can’t More >
A Blonde Returns to Work after 30 Years
This may be the shortest clip you’ll ever see on Youtube. A blonde, an office and a…
© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.
Things that didn’t happen: Woody Allen makes an action movie!
It was only a matter of time. According to The National Inquisition, Woody Allen’s next movie is set to be a full fledged action adventure set in the steaming Jungles of New Jersey. Following Allen through the many unexplored areas of South Jersey parts will be Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, re-enacting his classic role of Colan, Bruce Willis, Silvester Stallone and the late Telly Savalas. Using technology Allen first introduced in Zelig, the dead and almost dead actors chosen to fill the parts will have new life pumped into them. The female role is being held for Lynsay Lohan who must first fulfil prior commitments to the California police department. More >
An Island of Blondes – what’s next?
A Lithuanian company Olialia (pronounced ooh-la-la) is setting up a holiday resort on an island of the Maldives – the resort would be managed only by blondes. The target date is in 2015. Critics say it is a method of selling sex but the company thinks otherwise. Giedre Pukiene, the managing director of Olialia wants to break the myth that blondes are not as intelligent as brunettes – they have degrees and are smart. The blondes would fly the airplanes and they will be everywhere.
Though the concept has been criticized the world over for being sexist and undemocratic, it is More >
How to become rich without really trying
The quickest way to achieving a fast fortune
1. Start a startup that pushes a technological concept that nobody truly understands. 2. Create a colorful Power Point presentation fun of buzzwords, technical jargon and embedded video clips. 3. Call a press conference 4. Tell a leading newspaper reporter that the rumors that Google are about to buy you out are totally unfounded. 5. Sell the startup to Apple or Microsoft for half a billion dollars and options. 6. Buy a villa facing the sea in the Caribbean after retiring at the ripe old age of twenty two.
© 2010 Steve Taite. All More > 
Things that never happened: Miss Universe achieves world peace
The current Miss Universe, Bianca Blaise Bimbona, wasn’t the first to reveal her intention to achieve world peace if she won the competition, but was the first to prove herself capable. After proudly putting the crown on her head Miss Bimbona started a Facebook group that called for public abstention around the globe. Claiming that she was herself still a virgin, B.B.B, as she has become known, managed to capture the hearts (and other bodily parts) of men and women worldwide. After the group passed the 2 billion mark and succeeded in bringing down the Facebook servers worldwide, governments around More >
Something Stupid – Something Kinky
She: I stand here by the mirror
I want a look that’s quite a killer
For my first date with you.
I have this leather skirt
And knee high boots that really hurt
There’s still my face I must do.
My lipstick’s ruby red
And I wouldn’t be caught dead
Without a piercing or two
Just some mascara in black
And my breasts I need to stack
Before I see you.
—
He: I so despise all these blind dates
The other side is always late
And then I start to perspire.
I hope that casual is her style
Because it’s been a long long while
Since I have bought new attire.
There’s a girl coming this way
Who’s surely not dressed More >
