50 Things You Shouldn’t Try Doing
- Taking a shower while boiling a hard boiled egg.
- Wearing socks with holes in them while visiting a mosque.
- Eating sushi with a knife and fork in a Tokyo restaurant.
- Eating M&Ms with a knife and fork if you’re not appearing on a sitcom.
- Posting a nude photograph of your ex-boss on Facebook – people have gone missing presumed dead for less.
- Bungee jumping over the George Washington Bridge while 7 months pregnant.
- Bungee jumping over the George Washington Bridge while wearing disposable panties.
- If your name is Joe Doe, opening up Joe Doe’s Doughnut to Go Ho!
- Take of your top at Mardi Gras if you are over seventy. Seven people from last years event are still in E.R.
- Tell horse jokes while still mounted. “Have you heard the one about the stallion with the gas problem?”
- Call your therapist in the middle of a job interview to get advice.
- Have sex in a phone booth opposite the local police station.
- Try to speak Swedish on your first trip to Scandinavia. No they weren’t pulling your leg at home – it really is a language.
- Speaking Double Dutch in Holland.
- Speaking Welsh anywhere.
- Marrying a cannibal’s maiden daughter after finding out that it s customary for the groom’s side to provide the food.
- Taking a six week cruise with your mother-in-law.
- Eating gourmet Sloppy Joes
- Sing “We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz” at Hogwards
- Try the reenact The Matrix at home.
- Go on a blind date at Dans le Noir.
- Attempt dancing with a bear at Yosemite Park.
- Attempt walking on water in Lake Galilee (unless you know where Jesus left the stepping stones).
- Report the theft of your stock of Marijuana.
- Pay full price in Bangkok for a YPhone.
- Pick up a strange girl in a pub named Lola
- Believe the waiter in the Indian restaurant when he tells you the curry marked with 3 red peppers is only mildly spicy.
- Letting your pet Labrador beat you at Wii.
- Eat your morning cereal with beer instead of milk.
- Drink the water in India
- Drink the water in New York
- Listen to John Lennon’s Revolution #9 while sober
- Show off your collection of rare ants on your first date.
- Send your kid to school with a lunch-box of haggis.
- Ask a drunk Scot to show you what he hides under his kilt.
- Try to impress your date by taking her to McDonalds and then suggesting you split the bill.
- Tattoo “I do Charity” on your left arm, only to realize the next morning that you are now dating her twin sister Hope.
- Try to explain to a Parisian film director why American movies are far superior.
- Believe there is such a thing as a low calorie hamburger.
- Attempt sawing a women in two after you’ve been out on the town with the lads.
- Dance with a rattle-snake.
- Dancie with the daughter of the Godfather
- Dance with the son of the Godfather who has yet to come out of the closet.
- Take fashion advice from Lady Gaga
- Explain to a policeman why you are stark naked and cuffed to a fire hydrant in Ohio and have a tattoo of Paris Hilton on your —.
- Buy your wife a new iron for her birthday.
- Believe your girlfriend / wife / lover when she says she doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day and hates flowers, jewellery and chocolate.
- Buy 4 reindeer and attempt to teach them to fly.
- Write a book called “Lady Chatterley’s Liver”
- Go on a hitchhiking holiday in Columbia
© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.
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