Things People Steal from Hotel Rooms

The following is a true story.

In a different era, my mother, must to the embarrassment of us kids, used to return from every vacation with a souvenir ashtray from the hotel she had visited. At a certain time during her life she worked as a tourist group courier, which meant she listened to all their complaints and persuaded them it was not necessary to shoot the pianist in the bar just because he refused to play Speedy Gonzales. One evening, just before a group coach pulled away from the hotel, the manager called my mother and asked that they open one of the tourists suitcases. It seemed that  several towels and room contents had gone missing and he was certain he knew who the culprit was. Leaving the members of the group happily singing dirty limericks on the coach, the unloaded the pertinent case and took it behind the  main desk to check its contents. Among the contents they found:

• 6 hand towels
• 14 bottles of shampoo
• 24 bars of soap
• 4 sets of silverware
• 2 glass ashtrays
• 1 Loaf of sliced bread
• 2 cartons of milk
• 1 Dozen eggs ( not boiled).

After the manager and my mum had picked themselves up from the floor, they couldn’t control their curiosity and delicately interrogated   the tourist regarding  his motives. The answer was rather obvious. He innocently explained to them that because of the late hour of the flight, he wouldn’t be home till well after the shops closed and he didn’t want to go  to bed on an empty stomach. The manager removed the silverware but let him keep the rest!

© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved.
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