The Taite Guide to Witches

Witch Way?

Of all the species that inhabit this world, perhaps the least understood are the witches. For generations these broom carrying badly dressed citizens have been badly misrepresented. We know little about their customs traditions or even their ancestry.

Here in an  effort to set the records straight I give you the Taite Guide to Witches:

- 10 facts you didn’t know about witches

- Everything you always wanted to know about witches but were afraid to ask.

- The famous Python witch

- Everything you always wanted to know about witches but were afraid to ask: The Sequel

- Selected pictures  from the National Witches Picture Gallery

10 Facts You didn’t Know About Witches

1) The word witch comes from the saxon word ‘wicca’ meaning ‘wise one’.  Wicca was first publicized in 1954 by a British civil servant named Gerald Gardner who said the religion dated to an old witch cult that existed in secret for hundreds of years, originating in the pre-Christian Paganism of Europe.

2) Wicca is recognized as an official religion in the United States. It is a primarily Western movement of nature worship based on pre-Christian traditions. In the United States, there are between 250,000 and 500,000 followers of the Wiccan witch religion, which honors the “Elements of Nature” — Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Spirit — and their associated directions — North, East, South, West, Center — in “sacred circles” where rituals are held.

3) The Wiccan New Year of Samhain is considered a precursor to modern Halloween. Today it coincides with Halloween on Oct. 31. Historically, it was a Celtic festival held on Nov. 1 where the world of the gods was believed to be made visible to mankind. Modern witches say it is a time of year when the “veil between the dead and the living is thin.”

4) Under the act of 1670 any woman who enticed a man into matrimony by using false hair, artifical teeth, high-heeled shoes or bolstered hips could be convicted of witchcraft.

5) In England the death penalty for witchcraft was abolished in 1736, however the last legal execution of a witch was in 1782 in Switzerland.

6) Witch Hazel got its name because a twig of it was supposed to twitch if pointed at a witch.

7) In his 14 month career as Witch-Finder General (1645-46) Matthew Hopkins was responible for the execution of some 200-400 witches in East Anglia.

8) During the second World War a coven of witches aided the Allies by beaming thoughts across to Hilter’s brian telling him that he could not cross the channel.It is said that the effort was so great that all those who took part died soon after.

9) A woman was hanged in Yeovil in 1658 because she was said to have given a bite of an apple to a young boy which caused him to fly 300 yards.

10) A male witch is also called a witch and not a wizard or warlock.

Everything You Always wanted to Know  About Witches but Were Afraid to Ask

Q: What do you call two witches living together?
A: Broom-mates.

Q: What does a witch ask for when she is in a hotel?
A: Broom service.

Q: What did one witch say to other when she asked for a lift?
A: “There’s always broom for one more.”

Q: When do witches cook their victims?
A: On Fry Day.

Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch.

Q: What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch?
A: A brrrooooommmm stick

Q: What do they teach in witching school?
A: Spelling.

Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?
A:A broom closet.

Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
A:She witch-hiked!

Q: What story do little witches like to hear at bedtime ?
A:Ghoul deluxe and the three scares !

Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the washing machine ?
A:She wanted a clean sweep !

Q: What do you call two witches that share a room ?
A:Broom mates !

The Python Witch

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Everything You Always wanted to Know  About Witches but Were Afraid to Ask: The Sequel

Q: What should you expect if you drop in on a witches home unexpectedly?
A: Pot luck !

Q: Why is a witch like a candle?
A: They are both wicked !

Q: What happens to witches when it rains?
A: They get wet !

Q: What is the difference between a musician and a dead witch?
A: One composes and the other decomposes !

Q: What do you get if you cross a witch and an iceberg?
A: A cold spell !

Q: Why do witches get good bargains?
A: Because they like to haggle !

Q: What are baby witches called?
A: Halloweenies !

Q: What happens to a witch when she loses her temper while riding her broom?
A: She flies off the handle !

Q: Why didn’t the witch sing at the concert?
A: Because she had a frog in her throat !

Q: What do you do if a witch in a pointy hat sits in front of you at the cinema?
A: Miss most of the film !

Q: Why do witches wear pointy black hats?
A: To keep their heads warm !

Q: When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
A: When your a mouse !

Selected Pictures  from the National Witches Picture Gallery

Garlic Witches

mexican witches

The Garbage Witch

A Poor Witch Mooning

The Mona Witch

Fashionably Dressed Witches

The Hefner Witch

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