Best humor blog for everyday life
Archive for May, 2010
The Taite Guide to the Magic Kingdom
We arrived in Orlando, picked up our bright lemon hire-car, which suspiciously didn’t look like a mouse, and headed for our Disney vacation hotel. The lady hiding in the GPS steered us via Disney Vacation Blvd, Backstage Lane, Animal Kingdom Archway, Toy Story Thruway, Donald Drive, through Cinderella Crossroad and made us circle Disney Downtown twelve times for good measure. The room was like any other hotel room I had stayed at, that had been invaded by toons. It had a Mickey key, Mickey soap, Mickey shaped towels, Mickey duvet. They sure know how to take the Mickey out of More >
Seiji Fujishiro II
—-
—-
—-
—-
—-
—-
—-
More Seiji
go back to Seiji Fujishiro I
continue to Seiji Fujishiro III
—
© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.
Seiji Fujishiro III
Seiji also did a formidable amount of work in black and white
-
—-
—-
—-
—-
—-
—-
—-
More Seiji
back to Seiji Fujishoro I
back to Seiji Fujishoro II
© 2011 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.
No Time at All
No time for wishing No time for love No time for wondering Who lives above No time for enjoyment No time to fall No time at all
No time for relationships No time for friends No time to ponder What waits at the end No time for the swimming No time to play ball No time at all
No time for riches No time for fame No time for decide Who was really to blame No time to listen No time to call No time at all
No time for parties No time for food Not time to be polite Nor be a More >
In Flight
Some things weren’t meant to be. Like Avator winning the Oscar for best picture, global peace and me sleeping on board my transatlantic flight. For once I’m flying alone so I get to chose between window and isle seat. I’m the sort of person who needs to go you know where the minute the flight takes off, so of course I chose isle. Big mistake. Usually I travel with me better half who is, to put it delicately, not as tall as I am, so the minute the seat-belt sign goes off I become her bed. In minutes she’s fast More >
Morning Zombies
You walk them,
You feed them,
You tidy up after them
- you are one fine canine zombie.
At the witching hour,
Early morning,
The zombies are walking the streets.
With only one eye open,
The slumber just broken
The cyclops admits his defeat.
The sidewalks deserted,
Their life is inverted
By four legs that are attached to a leash.
Holy cow it’s a weekend
But they are ruled by the best friend
Who’s poop he thinks smells like a quiche.
————-
A dog lives like a king
While you work
He does his own thing
Basically eating and getting his sleep.
When you get home he thrives
Takes you captive, alive
And if you ignore him
You feel like a More >
The Taite Guide to Everything – Best So Far
Some of my favourites from the past 9 months of
The Taite Guide to Everything
Prisons for the rich and famous
A Nostalgic Walk Through the Gallery
I know, I’ve only been blogging 10 months, but 10 months in bloggingland is like forever.
I have written over 250 blogs in that time, quite a feat in its own right.
So while I happily getting some sun (and probably a bit of rain) down in Orlando together with Mickey, Goofy and Co, it is your responsibility to catch up on all those great blogs that have passed you by.
Here to make your task easy, and my holiday less time consuming, is the first list of some of my favourites so far.
HitechComputers on Strike: the day my computer ran away
How to Get Fired in 5 Days
Jan Janson was an expert at everything. He could read computer dumps in his sleep (and often did), produced perfect code, was always ahead of his deadline and magically produced wonderful cafe latte from the office coffee machine. He was popular with the girls, admired by the men and a perfect candidate for management. That was before he decided to get fired and leave for a better position with the competition. It is not easy to get fired when you are the perfect employee but Janson went at it with a vengeance. He was well aware that if he quit More >
Patricia Piccinini: Science Fiction, Parenthood and Hyper Realism
Wikipedia describes Patricia Piccinini as “an Australian artist ….who works with a wide range of media, including sculpture, video, drawing, installation and digital prints. Her major artworks often reflect her interests in issues such as bioethics, biotechnologies and the environment. ”
A non professional look at her work reveals a stunning juxtaposition of science fiction and parenting. As she mixes alien creatures nurturing their offspring together with human children the results are simultaneously stunning and heartwarming. Judge for yourselves.
The Robin Hood Channel
Coming This Fall on the all new Robin Hood Channel
Will the Merry: Follow the hysterical adventures of Diva Will Scarlet and his Merry Men and witness the antics they get up to in the forest (PG13). Forest live has never been so divine!
Robin Made Marianne (R-rated). From the people who brought you Forest Hump.
Friar Tuck’s Hell’s Kitchen Watch the fun as three overweight, drunk monks fight it out for the position of Sou Chef in the monastery.
The Prince and the Paupers The new reality show where the Prince gets to chose a mate from the fairest ladies of the land, who have been gathered More >
Stress Management
Project Management, as some of you out there might know, is a job for masochists. Basically you volunteer to be a punching bag for every senior manager in the firm and, to boot, you, must smile through it all and try and motivate the poor bastards working under you who bash it out for 18 hours a day.
To help reduce the everyday stress, and make my life more livable, I have adopted several stress management routines that I have learned to perform over the years at seminars.
To help start my day in a serene fashion, I perform the following routine More >
How To Eat Yourself
I stumbled upon this great gif made my Carl Krull a Danish illustrator based in Copenhagen and had to share it with you.
The Taite Guide to Witches
Witch Way?
Of all the species that inhabit this world, perhaps the least understood are the witches. For generations these broom carrying badly dressed citizens have been badly misrepresented. We know little about their customs traditions or even their ancestry.
Here in an effort to set the records straight I give you the Taite Guide to Witches:
- 10 facts you didn’t know about witches
- Everything you always wanted to know about witches but were afraid to ask.
- The famous Python witch
- Everything you always wanted to know about witches but were afraid to ask: The Sequel
- Selected pictures from the National Witches More >
Simply Psychiatry
I was sitting in the bar the other day, minding my own business and a well deserved pint when I overheard the obviously distraught guy sitting next to me pour out his heart to the bartender.
“Ever since I was a small kid” he said, “I have always had this terrible fear that there was a monster hiding under my bed. So finally I decide to do something about it and start seeing this posh psychiatrist. So I tell him the fear that something will suddenly come out from under my bed is ruining my life. My wife’s left me. I More >
Evan Penny: Hyper Realistic Sculpture
From an article by Michael Burtch, 1987
Evan Penny’s works is surrounded by a marvellous silence that permits the viewer to wander about in a complex web of associations and meanings. To attempt to isolate the precise source of its strength is an exercise in futility. Penny has worked hard to neutralize traditional, over-articulated signs, such as narrative gesture and sexuality. What he presents is an invocation of the mute, inexplicable fact of human existence, a presence mediated by socially and culturally defined and constructed identities. The figures are offered up as inexplicable “others”, named subjects without subjecthood, yet they reflect back More >
Valleys of Neptune – The NEW Jimi Hendrix Album and The Time Traveller’s Wife
In the era of Avatar, Ipad and Obama a slightly less publicized phenomenon is taking place right before our ears. If the during the last few decades we witnessed mind blowing amounts of repackaging, out-takes, rarities, live concert footage and legal bootlegs by the ton (you need a whole room just to house all the Dylan and Neil Young efforts), now we get to join the time traveller’s wife as new albums appear from 40 year old music. Perhaps the biggest breakthrough was the release of Love by the Beatles (really more of a Spector than Lennon release). Then the ageing Leonard Cohen More >
Confessions in a Bottle: the Genie
I was sitting in a bar, minding my own business, drinking my third Corona while trying not to get the lemon slice in my eye, when I spied a small piece of parchment hiding in the bottom of the bottle. Using the stem of a disposable cocktail umbrella, that I seized from the frozen glass belonging to the girl sitting next to me, I slowly fished it out. After having recovered from the slap across the face that the girl gave me before getting up and leaving the bar, I commenced to read what was written on the parchment.
I you More >
