100 Things to do when you’re Bored

1. Write a list of things to do when you are bored.
2. Count the number of peope who die in Avatar (see The BodyCounters )
3. Write down ten positive things about your mother-in-law
4. Play solitaire on your computer, blindfolded.
5. Drive your car to work blindfolded (only for the really reckless)
6. Sing all the songs on all the Beatle albums in descending chronological order.
7. Sit in the park with a Reuben sandwich and rate all the males or females who pass you by.
8. Buy a goldfish and stare at it for hours until you get eye-strain.
9. Give your goldfish a perm.
10. Write a three page eulogy then perform last rites for the goldfish before flushing him/her down the toilet
11. Inspect your neighbor’s trash
12. Inspect celebrity trash (or read about it in a blog )
13. Invent an extinct language and experiment with it at your the local Pizza Hut.
14. Be GOD for a day.
15. Walk your neighbor’s Tarantula.
16. End world hunger.
17. End your hunger by jogging down to McDonald’s (works well for those unsuccessful at ending world hunger)
18. Go sing in the rain.
19. Visit your local doctor.
20. Paint your apartment black.
21. Paint all your windows black.
22. Play hide and seek with your landlady with the lights off.
23. Paint your neighbor’s dog blue.
24. If your neighbor’s dog is a Rottweiler pay a return visit to your doctor.
25. Drink all the beer you can find in the house.
26. #$#$*$&&))_($#*$#__burp
27. See how long you can hold out without going.
28. Mop up the floor you slob!
29. Film Oedepus with vegetables
30. Try to catch 29 grapes in your mouth.
31. Perm your hair to match the colors of the Zimbabwe flag.
32. Order groceries from the web ’till the colors come out and you are brave enough to leave the house.
33. Generate a Haiku
34. Text a twitt to God.
35. Wait for his answer reciting The Lord’s Prayer backwards while standing on your head.
36. Pay another visit to your doctor and attempt to explain how you broke both arms.
37. Become a mad scientist
38. Become a mad hatter.
39. Audition for MadMen.
40. Learn the two hundred and seventeenth page of the Yellow Pages by heart.
41. Put the two hundred and seventeenth page of the Yellow Pages to music.
42. Sell the world rights to Andrew Lloyd Webber.
43. Set up an obsticle course in your living room and then invite over your mother-in-law.
44.  Go on a dice tour. Leave the house without any money and a single die. Walk straight ahead and at every junction throw the die. 1 or 3 go right. 2 or 4 go left, 3 or 6 go straight. If you end up on the wild side of town try running instead of walking.
45.  Mine for gold. If you find any send me a mail and I’ll forward you my bank account number.
46. Mow your carpet.
47. Vacuum your lawn.
48. Exorcise a ghost.
49. Exercise a ghost.
50. Ghost write a book named  Haunting Memoirs of a Ghost.
51. Get a job telling jokes at funerals.
52. Donate your toenails to science.
53. Sculpture the Mona Lisa out of ice-cubes and attain world fame.
54. Find the Holy Grail.
55. Disprove the theory that cats have nine lives.
56. Run for president, run after the president, run from the F.B.I.
57. Change your name to Mohammed Cohen and go into the witness protection program.
58. Find Osama Ben Laden (who lost him anyway?)
59. Move to a nudist colony.
60. Write and produce the sequel to Seinfeld
61. Build a full scale pyramid in front of the White House.
62. See if they still accept Ameican refugees in Bolivia.
63. Replace Simon Cowell on American Idol.
64. Invent X-ray vision and sell it at adult stores.
65. Receive the Nobel Prize for Creative Blogging.
66. Rent the Brooklyn Bridge to tourists by the hour.
67. Invent an automatic sushi dispenser.
68. Run for Pope.
69. Kidnap Barbie and get ransom money from Ken.
70. Refuse to return Barbie until the Monopoly money is replaced with real bills.
71. Invent the sushi falafel.
72. Move New York to Nevada where there are no taxes and become a national hero.
73. Guest star on the Simpsons.
74. Guest host the Mr. Potato Show.
75. Spend a weekend in Hugh Hefner’s jacuzzi.
76. Spend another weekend in Hugh Hefner’s jacuzzi after first removing Hugh.
77. Marry Madonna.
78. Skydive nude over the Vatican.
79. Ride a Hippogriff
80.  Listen to a painting.
81.  Go bowling with a watermelon.
82.  Discover an unreleased Beatle album
83. Go mining in your nostrils.
84. Brush your pet tiger.
85. Wear Sushi.
86. Phone all your ex-girlfriends, tell them “I’ve just won the lottery and…” and disconnect.
87. Volunteer to serve in Vietnam.
88. Hunt Dodos.
89. Teach your pet rock to play dead.
90. Give piano lessons even though you can’t play piano.
91. Answer cute ads from Craig’s List.
92. Answer not so cute ads from Craig’s List.
93. Answer the guy who is looking for a partner to travel in time
94. Play April Fools pranks in May.
95. Propose marriage to the pope.
96. If  he accepts, order a gown from the Vatican Gownery.
97. Come up with incredibly stupid merchandise that can be sold in gift shops
98. Return all the garments and electrical appliances that you have bought in the last ten years and retire.
99. Sponser the Annual Parrot Throwing Competition in South Kensington.
100. I really think 99 is enough, don’t you? I mean some of us do have to work you know! It’s alright for you guys who have nothing better to do than read silly blogs that nobody will read, all day, but I really do have a family to support. And don’t tell me about all the millions I call get from Google AdSense when people out there click on the ads, because they don’t. How am I supposed to retire on $2.37………….