When Insults Had Class (no 4-letter words!!)

Once upon a time people actually put thought into their insults.

The following are  from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison,” and he said, ”If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

 A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
“Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” “That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”
 
“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr 

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” - Winston Churchill 

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” – Winston Churchill
  
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – Clarence Darrow
 
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
 ”Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” – Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
  
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas
 
“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” – Abraham Lincoln
 
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain
  
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde
 

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill 
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop
 
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright
 
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb 

“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.” - Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” - Jack E. Leonard
“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.” – Robert Redford 
“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” - Thomas Brackett Reed
 
In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” - Charles, Count Talleyrand
 
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker
 
  “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain
 
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork ” – Mae West
 
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde
 
“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts.. . for support rather than illumination. ” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
 
  “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder
 
  “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” - Groucho Marx