The Taite Guide to Mothers-in-Law

I could tell what day it was going to be. It was all written in the sky. I woke up without a headache, the sun was shining. I could detect the chirping of robins from the nearby tree. Then the doorbell rang and the storm began. My mother in law is allergic to dishwashers. Well not really allergic she just doesn’t believe that a machine can really clean dishes. Every time she visits she removes all the dirty dishes that have piled up and washes them by hand. Then she replaces them in the dishwasher to dry. So when she is by us the dishes pile up in the sink, overflowing on all sides, so that they don’t mingle with the three clean plates and two cups that inhabit the dishwasher. From the survey I have done, it is clear that mothers in law and electrical appliances. To prove my theory, try the following experiment (at your own risk please!). Go off with your wife on a well earned romantic weekend, leaving your mother in charge of your children. On your way back from the airport, stop off at your local electric appliance store to replace the washing machine your mother-in-law has managed to destroy along with the vacuum cleaner that doesn’t like being washed. Once home, after you have greeted the kids, immediately throw out your steam iron which your MIL has taught to work without water. Give or take a day or two, it will take three weeks before you find your favorite brown sweatshirt in your older son’s closet. The mug tht your friends at work bought you for your birthday will be lost forever. Probably broken along with  the toaster which has suddenly gone awol.

All being fair, my mother in law is a great person. For her birthday, I decided to by her the ultimate present – a waterproof, shockproof, anti-magnetic, unbreakable watch. She lost it.

Q. How do you stop your mother in law from drowning?

A. Take your foot off her head.

Q: Why do they bury mothers-in-law 18 feet down, when everyone else is buried 6 feet down?