Best humor blog for everyday life
Archive for February, 2010
confessions in a bottle
I was sitting innocently on the beach, minding my own business when a huge wave slung this bottle at me. Luckily it was a plastic coke bottle and not a discarded wine bottle, which could easily have broken my nose. From inside I extracted the following message.
My name is unimportant, you can call me Marion, no wait make that Rhiannon. If I get my choice it may as well be something sexy. I live in a apartment building in New Jersey, Manhattan, but am presently sitting on a beach on a not so deserted island, bored to death. The More >
The Taite Guide to Project Management
Project Management
Life as a project manager is comparable to a mountain climber’s. The big difference being that when you get to the peak you find there is no safe way down. Whenever I get really down, my wife reminds me that it takes one women nine months to have a baby and no matter how you try it is impossible to perform the same feat in one month by impregnating nine women. It was a beautiful morning, the sun was shining, the train was on time, the coffee tasted great for a change and Larry was smiling when I reached More >
The Taite Guide to Easy Jobs
Easy Jobs
The nine easiest jobs on the planet.Originally I meant to list ten but it was too much like work.
9. Lifeguard at the baby pool. z z z z z z
8. The holy water fountain filler in a Catholic Church.
7. Robin of Batman and Robin Fame: everyone knows Batman does all the work.
6. The Weatherman in Dubai: It will be hot today. It will be hot tomorrow. It will be hot the day after tomorrow. It will be…
5. Fast food restaurant critic: The fries were OK but the coke could have done with more zest.
4. Experienced bra fitter. I saw More >
The Taite Guide to English Greetings
English Greetings
The form of greeting used in the Anglo Saxon world has been the cause of great embarrassment for foreigners for generations. To help avoid future diplomatic incidents here, free of charge, is my foreigner’s guide to English greetings.
1. How’s it hanging? When you are accosted with this common greeting answering “Well thank you” is not the right response. Nor is it necessary to show your host how it is hanging, as this is considered to be in very bad taste, especially in a room full of people at a cocktail party. This tip can be ignored, of course by dark More >
The Taite Guide to Toilets
Every time my wife and I go to a restaurant the first thing I do is order, the second thing is to seek out the men’s room. It is one of the mysteries of life how men immediately see food and need to go whereas women can hold out for most of the day. It’s almost as if they took private lessons on a camel farm. I won’t elaborate on that subject for fear of being called a chauvinist. The advantage of having to go so regularly is that you get exposed (no pun intended) to some of the most More >
On a Serious Note:: Living with ALS
The Taite Gallery is generally a light headed blog that takes a humorous outlook at everyday life. Over the six months that have passed since I started the blog, I have had moments when I doubted the project. Lack of response is part and parcel of every new blogger’s world. However, I never thought for a moment of giving up. My mother had always wanted to be a writer and it is from her that I get the push that keeps me going. Though she died before I even started on the project, I am sure she is up there somewhere More >
The Dog Guide to Valentine’s Day
It is common knowledge that Valentine’s Day (or St. Valentine’s Day as it used to be known) was first invented by Richard Hallmark in 1876. I am also almost positive that St. Valentine was not the patron saint of mutts. Mini, my Pekinese wonder-dog, thinks otherwise. It so happened that last Tuesday my wife was working late, my son was studying and my younger daughter was at the mall, so I wasn’t in the least surprised when I entered the apartment and found Mini surfing the web again. This time she didn’t even try to hide her escapades, or remove More >
What’s the Buzz?
What’s The Buzz From the Off Off Broadway hit “Larry Page SuperTwitter”
The Apostle Bloggers
What’ is buzz? Tell me what the hell it is. (Repeat 8 times)
Here’s all you need to know. Google buzz is all the future. Those using Facebook are behind We’re leaving wave to launch tomorrow; Inside your Gmail Buzz you’ll find.
The Apostle Bloggers
What is buzz? Tell me what the hell it is. (Repeat 8 times)
I could give you facts and figures. Even give you plans and forecasts. Even tell you where we’re going.
The Apostle Bloggers
When can we rid ourselves of Windows? (Repeat many times)
LARRY
Why should you want to More >
The Committee for international Sanctions
Seven men and one woman sat round the large oval table. In front of each of them was a small flag. At precisely 10:00 A.M. the chairman opened the meeting. “This is the four hundred and seventy sixth session of the Iranian Sanctions Committee. I think it is fair to say that this committee has done everything in its power to forward a peaceful conclusion of the crises and it is now in the best interests of the free world to act.” Here the Chinese delegate interrupted. “As the humble delegate for the people of China I demand that the words More >
The Taite Guide to Mothers-in-Law
Mothers-in-Law
I could tell what day it was going to be. It was all written in the sky. I woke up without a headache, the sun was shining. I could detect the chirping of robins from the nearby tree. Then the doorbell rang and the storm began. My mother in law is allergic to dishwashers. Well not really allergic she just doesn’t believe that a machine can really clean dishes. Every time she visits she removes all the dirty dishes that have piled up and washes them by hand. Then she replaces them in the More >Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law
You can’t keep anything secret anymore
The computers know far to much about us, even our most intimate secrets. Here is proof for you.
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend’s house for a play date.
‘Mommy,’ the little girl asks, ‘how old are you?’ ‘Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,’ the mother replied. ‘It’s not polite.’ ‘OK’, the little girl says, ‘How much do you weigh?’ ‘Now really,’ the mother says,’those are personal questions and are really none of your business.’ Undaunted, the little girl asks, ‘Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?’ ‘That’s enough questions, young lady! More >
The Taite Guide to Microsoft Windows Cleaning
Microsoft Windows Cleaning
Microsoft Windows is one of the weirdest successes known to man. Everyone bad lips it yet most of the world have it installed on their computers. Here is my guide to the Microsoft Windows Cleaning System. 1. Two weeks after you install windows, the time your computer takes to boot quadruples automatically. 2. If you leave Windows on for more than 48 hours without rebooting a popup window comes up with the following message: “I have been up and running for more than two days. If you are you trying for a world record press snooze, otherwise press More >
The Taite Guide to Exams
Exams
Many students fail tests miserably. The chosen few do so in style and should be given credit for their creativity. Here are a few examples of the latter.
Sometimes the answer is obvious!!!
Chauvinism isn’t always the answer to our problems.100%
If you can’t solve the problem with the elements provided add your own!
The Best British TV Comedy Sketches Ever
British Humor Spectacular: The Two Ronnies, Monty Python, French and Saunders, Mr. Bean, Goodness Gracious Me, Morecambe and Wise, Little Britain, Reeves and Mortimer, The Frost Report, Smack the Pony. Coupling and Fawlty TowersHere are twelve of the best British TV comedy sketches ever broadcastThe Two Ronnies: Four Candles
Goodness Gracious Me: Going out for an English
Morecambe and Wise: Breakfast
French and Saunders: Silence of the Lambs
Coupling: How to Chat Up a Girl
Fawlty Towers: Fa-fa-fa-fire!
Little Britain: The Only Gay in the Village
Reeves and Mortimer: Masterchef
The Frost Report: An Understanding of Class
Smack the Pony: Saying More >
Rainman
When the rain came down The people were in shock.
To the center of town They sped just like a flock. The clouds burst open And the crowd all cheered For one single, solemn moment They forgot all their fears. And the pitter and the patter Was all that mattered On the block.
When the rain came down A new hope filled the air Across a nation from town to town They all came out to stare. The electric light carnival Caused such a great splash. Up up in the heavens Came a musical flash. While above he stood silent, The man More >
blank sheet of paper
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Yes it’s absolutely free of charge. Just click the “Print” button on the site to print a smooth, clean blank sheet of paper from any printer. It even works More >
