Avatar II Auditions: The Revenge of the Canines
It was inevitable. After the success of the first movie the web was full of rumors and speculations regarding the sequel (obviously the first of many). Mini (my wonderdog) had already got a head start on me. It's easy for her, she doesn't have to hold down a day job and commute every morning and evening. She is entitled to free bed and board and can sleep all day if she choses, which she does after she has c...
10 new work laws we'd like to see
"All work and no play" well I think it's time to put a n end to all that. Here are ten ways to do it: After a holiday or office party someone automatically brings a double dose of espresso to your desk and no sly remarks about a possible hangover are allowed. - If your boss pisses you off twice in one week you are granted an immediate, paid one day vacation - Coffee served at work must not taste like ...
Unknown Group rewrites Sgt Pepper and Conquers British Charts:...
The first single released from upcoming album Android Pfeffer's Boneless Hearts Club Band, entitled Lucy Sold Her Sky for Diamonds, has been topping the British charts for over six weeks now and is keeping Simon Cowell up late at night in an attempt to find a way to launch a counter attack and protect his interests. Taite Gallery reporters have managed to cut through the media fog surrounding the new group a...
10 new work laws we'd like to see
"All work and no play" well I think it's time to put a n end to all that. Here are ten ways to do it: After a holiday or office party someone automatically brings a double dose of espresso to your desk and no sly remarks about a possible hangover are allowed. - If your boss pisses you off twice in one week you are granted an immediate, paid one day vacation - Coffee served at work must not taste like ...
Aliens for Neighbours: How to spot Co-Workers from Another Planet
It all started with a nightmare brought on by an overdose of chocolate, beer and late night horror movies. The dream started off normally enough. Getting up, eating breakfast, commuting to work. Then I noticed something peculiar. Something about my co-workers didn't seem kosher. Was it the fact that the doorman's skin was a bright green, or that our secretary was finding it difficult to hide her middle leg. Only a ...
The Blonde Guide to Flying
Now you don't have to worry about going abroad and accidentally boarding the plane to Afghanistan, the newly published "International Flying Guide for Blondes" will tell you everything you need to know to when flying abroad. Condensed into 12 detailed pages (yes there are pictures), this book is a must for every blonde who couldn't find her way out of the duty free or work out how to extract the complimentary h...
The Blonde Guide to Flying
Now you don't have to worry about going abroad and accidentally boarding the plane to Afghanistan, the newly published "International Flying Guide for Blondes" will tell you everything you need to know to when flying abroad. Condensed into 12 detailed pages (yes there are pictures), this book is a must for every blonde who couldn't find her way out of the duty free or work out how to extract the complimentary h...
How to Get Fired in 5 Days
Jan Janson was an expert at everything. He could read computer dumps in his sleep (and often did), produced perfect code, was always ahead of his deadline and magically produced wonderful cafe latte from the office coffee machine. He was popular with the girls, admired by the men and a perfect candidate for management. That was before he decided to get fired and leave for a better position with the competition. It ...
Avatar II Auditions: The Revenge of the Canines
It was inevitable. After the success of the first movie the web was full of rumors and speculations regarding the sequel (obviously the first of many). Mini (my wonderdog) had already got a head start on me. It's easy for her, she doesn't have to hold down a day job and commute every morning and evening. She is entitled to free bed and board and can sleep all day if she choses, which she does after she has c...
Adventures in a Japanese Loo
A foreigner's first experience with a Japanese toilet could easily be compared with a teenagers first experience with love. You meet this gorgeous girl during the school recess but you have no idea what to do about it. No-one has given you an instructions manual. The same can be said about Japanese washlets - right you really don't want to call it a toilet any more than you'd call a Jaguar E-Type Roaster a car - t...
How to Get Rich Without Really Trying
You want to get rich fast. There's only one big problem. Your skint! Your bank balance is in the red, your bank manager refuses to return your calls, your family have disowned you and the national sweepstakes refuses to chose your lucky numbers. All is lost. Not quite my friend. There are still opportunities out there to make money from thin air - literally. Here is a list of some possible options and because I'm...
Avatar II Auditions: The Revenge of the Canines
It was inevitable. After the success of the first movie the web was full of rumors and speculations regarding the sequel (obviously the first of many). Mini (my wonderdog) had already got a head start on me. It's easy for her, she doesn't have to hold down a day job and commute every morning and evening. She is entitled to free bed and board and can sleep all day if she choses, which she does after she has c...
10 Ways to get rid of an Annoying Co-Worker
Has the person sitting next to you at work yet to discover the word deodorant? Does your co-worker sing Abba songs aloud eight hours a day? Does your co-worker pick his nose, thinking no one is watching, our excavate his ears? Does your co-worker were micro mini-skirts even though she weighs over 90 kg and is almost 62? Does the guy sitting opposite you tap on his desk with an HB pencil, mistaking...
ChatRoulette: what you've been missing
© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.
ChatRoulette: what you've been missing
© 2010 Steve Taite. All rights reserved. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and pass on to your friends. If not feel free to pass on to your enemies. Don't want to miss a post? What are you waiting for, subscribe now or follow me on twitter.

Pay me 45 Million dollars and I’ll leave. I’ll even do the cancan!

From the associated press: NEW YORK – NBC said Thursday it has reached a $45 million deal with Conan O’Brien for his exit from the “Tonight Show,” allowing Jay Leno to return to the late-night program he hosted for 17 years.

I think that this is good a time as any to announce that I am perfectly willing to leave everything for 45 million dollars. I promise to have cleared out my desk by Monday, evacuated my house, handed over Mini my wonder Pekinese and auctioned off my children (sorry kids but business is business). Just so there is no doubt on the matter, I have no intention, nor did I ever have any intention, of hosting the Tonight Show, The Today Show, guest hosting for Oprah or anchoring the 7:00 news.

Now that that matter is all cleared up, please be advised that I have opened an off shore bank account in Jamaica, so please transfer the lolly there I have tentatively placed a deposit on a small island off the coast of Barbados, as yet untouched by the cast and crew of Survivor. I have been told that I can easily purchase a few of the locals who will willingly take care of my every need there and be happy to bring me cocktails at noon and just before sunset on my newly obtained deserted beach.

No, the rumors that I am abandoning my wife in favor of Tyra Banks are completely unfounded but I am giving serious thought about adopting Jenna Jameson.