When NOT to Answer your Mobile Phone
Mobile phones have taken over our lives. They are cute, they are musical and they fit easily into the front pocket of your pants or that miniature leather handbag that you carry everywhere. Even so, sometimes it is downright stupid, impolite or dangerous to answer your ring-tone. In an attempt to promote world safety and invest some simple manners into you, here are my guidelines for when not to take that c...
confessions in a bottle
1:The Beginning I was sitting innocently on the beach, minding my own business when a huge wave slung this bottle at me. Luckily it was a plastic coke bottle and not a discarded wine bottle, which could easily have broken my nose. From inside I extracted the following message. My name is unimportant, you can call me Marion, no wait make that Rhiannon. If I get my choice it may as well be something sexy. I li...
You know you're really pregnant when
...that creepy guy on the train who is unable to extract the finger from his nostril and who wears a torn pair of black bell bottom jeans, gets up to give you a seat. ...the guy at the local convenience store starts wrapping pickles for you before you even get to the counter. ...your homeroom teacher suggests that you both have a little ...
50 Things to do before you hit the bucket
Everyone hits the bucket sometime so why not have some fun on the way. Here are some suggestions. Find Big Foot Stand on Big Foots foot Run the Arctic marathon making sure you the enormous white bear behind you stays there. Spend a night at the Paris Hilton Spend a night with Paris Hilton Find Waldo then donate him the home for Lost Souls Go to the airport and take the first plane flying o...
Office Tennis: Game Set and Swat! Sometimes you have to act dirty
Some games are hard to win. Take Office Tennis for Instance. Game I got to work one morning Around a quarter to ten. I sipped my coffee, read my Inbox, And it was that then I could feel a funny itching From beneath my clothes. Then I realized a fly had squatted On my nose. I tried to swat it with my backhand, Blot it with my forehand Chase it to the door and Make my name. But i...
The Taite Guide to Mothers-in-Law
Mothers-in-Law Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law I could tell what day it was going to be. It was all written in the sky. I woke up without a headache, the sun was shining. I could detect the chirping of robins from the nearby tree. Then the doorbell rang and the storm began. My mother in law is allergic to dishwashers. Well not really allergic she just doesn't believe that ...
Avatar II Auditions: The Revenge of the Canines
It was inevitable. After the success of the first movie the web was full of rumors and speculations regarding the sequel (obviously the first of many). Mini (my wonderdog) had already got a head start on me. It's easy for her, she doesn't have to hold down a day job and commute every morning and evening. She is entitled to free bed and board and can sleep all day if she choses, which she does after she has c...
10 Ways to get rid of an Annoying Co-Worker
Has the person sitting next to you at work yet to discover the word deodorant? Does your co-worker sing Abba songs aloud eight hours a day? Does your co-worker pick his nose, thinking no one is watching, our excavate his ears? Does your co-worker were micro mini-skirts even though she weighs over 90 kg and is almost 62? Does the guy sitting opposite you tap on his desk with an HB pencil, mistaking...
10 possible replacements for Simon Cowell due to fight it out in...
The prize is a priceless contract to lead the panel of judges on the most popular TV show in America. The winner gets Unlimited amounts of Coca Cola A chance to verbally abuse every would be, could be, should be and God help me who thinks they can sing. A free two week course in the use of eyebrow expressions A great wardrobe consisting of cheap jeans and plain T-shirts. Ladies and...
Last Will and Testament
I Martin William Luthor Goodfellow, a resident of Bel Air, being of sound and disposing mind and memory, hereby bequeath the following: To my beautiful blonde secretary Marilyn, who found the time to sit by my sick bed while my family were off celebrating Independence Day, I bequeath $500,000 in cash. To My son Andrew, who, for reasons known only to himself, goes by the nickname The Blade, adorns over a ...
You know you're really pregnant when
...that creepy guy on the train who is unable to extract the finger from his nostril and who wears a torn pair of black bell bottom jeans, gets up to give you a seat. ...the guy at the local convenience store starts wrapping pickles for you before you even get to the counter. ...your homeroom teacher suggests that you both have a little ...
The Taite Guide to Apple
Now that Steve Jobs has displayed the Ipad to the world, it remains to be seen which new devices he will conquer the world with in the years to come. Here, from our personal inside mole at a top secret Apple research lab, is a guide to a few of the new products Apple is secretly working on. 1. The Ipotty. Press for number one or number two as applicable 2. The Imobile. Tomorrows breakthrough in mobile...
Cruise vacations: 10 things they never told you about
1. The pictures of the young girls in the slim bikinis were taken 30 years ago. You get the updated version. 2. The round the clock, all you can eat buffets aren't half as appealing when you've spent your day throwing up over the port side of the ship. 3. If you want to avail yourself of one of the ten available treadmills you must sign up on the first day and with a bit of luck you'll get your 15 minutes...
ChatRoulette: what you've been missing
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The Blonde Guide to Flying
Now you don't have to worry about going abroad and accidentally boarding the plane to Afghanistan, the newly published "International Flying Guide for Blondes" will tell you everything you need to know to when flying abroad. Condensed into 12 detailed pages (yes there are pictures), this book is a must for every blonde who couldn't find her way out of the duty free or work out how to extract the complimentary h...

New Year’s Hangover: You’re Not Alone – drunk animals, celebs and regular people with a bike

So you had a little bit too much to drink last night. You drank like it was the end of a decade (guess what you were right!)
Just so you don’t feel you were the only person making a fool of yourself, here are some fellow drunks for your pleasure.
Take a quick pick and run for the black coffee.

Drunk Squirrel