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1:The Beginning I was sitting innocently on the beach, minding my own business when a huge wave slung this bottle at me. Luckily it was a plastic  coke bottle  and not a discarded wine bottle, which could easily have broken my nose. From inside I extracted  the following message. My name is unimportant, you can call me Marion, no wait make that Rhiannon. If I get my choice it may as well be something sexy. I li...

Now you don't have to worry about going abroad and accidentally boarding the plane to Afghanistan, the newly published "International Flying Guide for Blondes" will tell you everything you need to know to when flying abroad. Condensed into 12 detailed pages (yes there are pictures), this book is a must for every blonde who couldn't find her way out of the duty free or work out how to extract the complimentary h...

I'm the sort of guy who has all these great ideas but am unable to do anything with them, which is the reason my apartment is not next to Bill Gates mansion (or Hugh Hefner's for that matter). Some clever kids came up with Facebook , Twitter and Youtube and now take  their  baths in French champagne on their private 767 jet. Well I have this great idea which I will reveal in a minute, and if someone out there d...

Some Inmates have all the luck! "Gentlemen, I am warden Walter W. Felon III and I would like to welcome you all to the Beverly Hills Confinement Facility for the Rich and Famous. We don't like to think of  it as a prison, more a home away from home with bars. We hope that your stay with us will be a happy and fulfilling one and promise to make every effort to meet your demands. To help do this I h...

1:The Beginning I was sitting innocently on the beach, minding my own business when a huge wave slung this bottle at me. Luckily it was a plastic  coke bottle  and not a discarded wine bottle, which could easily have broken my nose. From inside I extracted  the following message. My name is unimportant, you can call me Marion, no wait make that Rhiannon. If I get my choice it may as well be something sexy. I li...

Some Inmates have all the luck! "Gentlemen, I am warden Walter W. Felon III and I would like to welcome you all to the Beverly Hills Confinement Facility for the Rich and Famous. We don't like to think of  it as a prison, more a home away from home with bars. We hope that your stay with us will be a happy and fulfilling one and promise to make every effort to meet your demands. To help do this I h...

Visiting Rites Susan Jane McCoy was a righteous and graceful eighty five year old  lady who was spending the last of her days at  the St Mary Retirement home in southern New Jersey. One fine morning she requested to speak to the local priest. "Father", she said in a broken, worn out voice "I feel that my time is drawing near and I have two requests." "Mrs. McCoy, you have been a faithful member of our c...

Google is a great toy. You never know what you will find next there. I was wondering why my post  100 Things to do when You're Bored received so many hits from Goggle when I thought of checking the search keywords people used to get to my site (compliments of Google Analytics of course). Here are some the weirder ones. I swear they are all real. --- ...

The prize is a priceless contract to lead the panel of judges on the most popular TV show in America. The winner gets Unlimited amounts of Coca Cola A chance to verbally abuse every would be, could be, should be and God help me who thinks they can sing. A free two week course in the use of eyebrow expressions A great wardrobe consisting of cheap jeans and plain T-shirts. Ladies and...

The first single released from upcoming album Android Pfeffer's Boneless Hearts Club Band, entitled  Lucy Sold Her Sky for Diamonds, has been topping the British charts for over six weeks now and is keeping Simon Cowell up late at night in an attempt to find a way to launch a counter attack and protect his interests. Taite Gallery reporters have managed to cut through the media fog surrounding the new group a...

It was inevitable. After the success of the first movie the web was full of rumors and speculations regarding the sequel (obviously the first of many). Mini (my wonderdog) had already got a head start on me. It's easy for her, she doesn't have to hold down a day job and commute every morning and evening. She is entitled to  free bed and board  and can sleep all day if she choses, which she does after she has c...

Name: the Almighty Location: here, there and everywhere Web: www.thoushallnotkill.com Followers: tens of millions - I'm the almighty not one not Demi's live-in playmate! Following: Oprah - much more productive than Maria Noah_273 - OK so he's got a few bolts loose and his pigtail is really not in, but what the hell - he makes me smile. Maybe I'll give him a flood of his own. Then he'll have something...

Jan Janson was an expert at everything. He could read computer dumps in his sleep (and often did), produced perfect code, was always ahead of his deadline and magically produced wonderful cafe latte from the office coffee machine. He was popular with the girls, admired by the men and a perfect candidate for management. That was before he decided to get fired and  leave for a better position with the competition. It ...

Name: the Almighty Location: here, there and everywhere Web: www.thoushallnotkill.com Followers: tens of millions - I'm the almighty not one not Demi's live-in playmate! Following: Oprah - much more productive than Maria Noah_273 - OK so he's got a few bolts loose and his pigtail is really not in, but what the hell - he makes me smile. Maybe I'll give him a flood of his own. Then he'll have something...