O.K. So stop reading through the never ending set of year end roundups summarizing the last decade for a minute. Enough is enough. We all remember September 11th, Michael Jackson , Monica Lewinsky and know what a Tsunami is (though few of us can spell it). Some still recall life before the Ipod, Google, YouTube and the tapes of Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton. I’m sure most of you still remember owning a body that comes detached from a mobile phone and that Big Brother was a phrase from a book. Now the new decade is almost upon us and it’s time again for those silly New Year Resolutions.
Here are my 10 New Year Resolutions that I promise not to keep:

10. I will clear out my inbox, outbox, sent mail and personal folders and keep my unread mail down to a max of 30.
9. In order to do my part for global warning I will only shower once a week.
8. I will come up with a system for remembering my passwords which will not involve family member birthdays or vital statistics from Sports Illustrated swimsuit models.
7. I will read issues of Sports Illustrated that don’t involve swimsuits.
6. I will run 1 1/2 miles, 1 mile, half a mile,every day. Oh what the hell.
5. I will create The Son of Twitter, retire from the earnings and live happily ever after.
4. I will sell the TV rights of  The Son of Twitter to Simon Cowell and my children will retire and live happily ever after.
3. I will sell The Son of Twitter for Syndication and my grandchildren, my neighbors and half the population of Alaska who I feel sorry for, will retire and live happily ever after.
2. I will repackage my blog as a reality show and retire along with the population of Amsterdam, Dallas and Hollywood East.
1. I will stop writing silly blogs about New year resolutions and find something worthwhile to write about.

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