The Goon show is probably the most famous, popular and idiotic radio show ever to hit the air. The combined talent of Spike Milligan, Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe can’t be beaten and was a major influence for  comedy to come such as  I’m sorry I’ll Read that Again, Monty Python, Soap and The Museum of Everything.
   Milligan did most of the writing and regularly played the parts of Eccles, Minnie and the devious Moriarty, Sellers was Bluebottle, Henry Crun, Major Bllodnok, Hercules Grytpype Thynne and of course Secombe was Neddie Seagoon.
One of the most popular running jokes was based on the innocent idiotic conversations between Bluebottle and Eccles:

Rather than try to explain their humor here are a few well picked infamous extracts.

From Six Charlies in Search of an Author
Seagoon: Major Bloodnok! I didn’t recognise you in that false room!
Bloodnok: Well I was only wearing it to keep the rain off. I wouldn’t wear it out of doors, of course.
Seagoon: Of course. Let me help you off with it.
Bloodnok: Thank you. Good heavens! We’re outside and it’s raining in the direction of down!
Seagoon: We’d better put your room on in the direction of on!
Bloodnok: That’s better. It’s much warmer with this direction on. Now Neddie, pull up a chair and sit down.
Seagoon: I’d rather stand, if you don’t mind.
Bloodnok: Well, pull up a floor then.
———————————————
Bloodnok: It’s a copper.
Spriggs: I’m not a policeman!
Bloodnok: I beg your pardon, madam.
Spriggs: I’m not a policewoman either!
Bloodnok: I say, you’re cutting it fine, aren’t you?

FromThe Nadger Plague
Grytpype-Thynne: Yes, that was a brilliant idea of mine that you thought of.

From the African Incident
Seagoon: Rather than surrender we gave ourselves up.

From Tales of Old Dartmore
Greenslade:This is the BBC Home Service. And here is a photograph of me saying it.
————————————————–
Seagoon:Great heavily whispered asides! (aside) Little do they know how little I know about the little they know. If only I knew what the little that they know, I’d know a little. I’ll have to keep my little ears open you know.

From Tales of Montmarte
Seagoon: To try to draw her attention I set fire to myself. It moved her. She fried an egg on me.

From Dishonoured

Announcer: Ten miles he swam. The last three were agony.
Seagoon: They were over land. Finally I fell in a heap on the ground. I’ve no idea who left it there.

Running Joke lines

Bluebottle: You rotten swine-you deaded me
Eccles: Shut up, Eccles! 
Seagoon (while narrating): And this is where the story really starts!

Whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat?
Little Jim: “He’s fallen in the water!”
The Goon Show Classics: King Solomon’s Mines/The Moriarty Murder Mystery/The Vanishing Room/The 1, 000, 000 Pound Penny (BBC Radio Collection)


Classic Goons Sketches

Google GmailGoogle ReaderLinkedInDiggShare